Oh, what a wonderful Christmas! I miss the toys and the little kid excitement, though! L got up and started bacon and eggs and pancakes and we all ate a nice big breakfast and then opened the gifts from my sister and family and the ones the kids gave to each other. Traditionally we open those gifts Christmas eve and then Christmas morning are the gifts we give to the kids, plus the stockings with a few goodies in them. However, since we didn't do anything Christmas Eve, we opened those gifts and then sent the kids upstairs while we filled the stockings and set out their gifts from us in separate chairs. We always get a picture of them with video at the top of the stairs coming down Christmas morning. So we continued with tradition!
Youngest son was the happiest...he got his first phone. He's been wanting one for about 2 years now. Sigh. Younger daughter got an OU sweatshirt, 2 new pairs of shoes, and various clothing items. Older daughter got a cute pink polka dot digital camera and some clothes. Both older sons got nice toolkits to keep in their cars and some clothing. Everyone got a few miscellaneous items as well. The highlight was middle son's bringing in the high definition TV for dad. He paid for most of it, I contributed $100 and I am not sure how much the other kids were able to help. He did get it after Thanksgiving on one of those mega sales.
After leisurely opening gifts, L got to making dough in the bread machine, and I got to working on a jello salad and some dessert for our dinner with friends at 5.
Went over there about 5 and enjoyed a nice potluck dinner. There were 21 of us but oldest son had to work so was not able to come. After eating we played dirty Santa with some candy that C picked up. Then we played another game after that which is a mixture of the game "telephone" and pictionary. You write down a phrase, pass it to the next person and they turn the page and try to draw that phrase in pictures. Then you pass it again and that person writes down what they think the picture is. Then again the next person draws a picture of what the newly revised phrase is. And so on until it goes all the way around the room. I have not laughed so hard in a really long time. Well, after playing that we played Apples to Apples. That was fun, too. We left about 10:30, after saying goodbye to middle son, who left the day after Christmas for Arizona with two friends for a long weekend. They are coming back late Monday.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Christmas Eve continued
Well, what a disappointment. Daughter didn't know when she was going to be able to get off after all. We had a lot of fun playing Planet Hollywood and $100,000 pyramid dvd version while waiting. Then we enjoyed the goodies. Cheese log, pizza rolls, crackers, chips & dip...all kinds of healthy things like that. Middle son was going to go with a Catholic friend to midnight mass and was going to have to leave by 11. So we decided to reconvene Christmas morning at 10 and open gifts then. Yes, as a mom of teens and college students one must be very flexible...
Older daughter texted about 11:30 saying she would be home after all and was it too late to go ahead with presents? I had to give her the bad news that the older boys had already gone home. She walked in the door about midnight crying out of frustration over having to work so late, and how she spent hours folding clothing after hours. It was a nice time for me to listen to her and be sympathetic. She is a good worker at her job and they do seem to appreciate her hard work and being on time and not complaining. It's funny how you work with your kids for years and years about how to be hard workers and you don't see any progress at home, but then you find out from others that your diligence did pay off and that they are going to be contributing members of society after all!
Older daughter texted about 11:30 saying she would be home after all and was it too late to go ahead with presents? I had to give her the bad news that the older boys had already gone home. She walked in the door about midnight crying out of frustration over having to work so late, and how she spent hours folding clothing after hours. It was a nice time for me to listen to her and be sympathetic. She is a good worker at her job and they do seem to appreciate her hard work and being on time and not complaining. It's funny how you work with your kids for years and years about how to be hard workers and you don't see any progress at home, but then you find out from others that your diligence did pay off and that they are going to be contributing members of society after all!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Christmas Eve
The older sons have arrived and are downstairs in the study wrapping gifts and wrestling with the golden retriever. Older daughter has to work from 4-8ish, so we are playing games and eating snacks until she gets home. She's not a big game player for some reason, so isn't something she will feel deprived about. Oldest son works at Blockbuster and got Christmas Eve and Christmas day until evening off since he worked Thanksgiving. Last Christmas he was the one we waited for on Christmas Eve as he had to work until 10 or so. It's changed Christmas somewhat with these crazy retail jobs, but I'm sure this is only a shadow of things to come. With boyfriends/girlfriends and spouses in the future, Christmas will continue to be flexible.
I took the older dog for a nice walk and now I'm bushed. The dentist deal wore me out as well as a killer headache, so I am really far behind. I really can't believe it is Christmas Eve already! Good Grief! Well, I'd better go down and see what is happening with the boys. I think younger daughter is wrapping gifts for her brothers. She can be a sweetie. I really think my boys are better for having sisters. Hopefully their wives will think so some day!
I took the older dog for a nice walk and now I'm bushed. The dentist deal wore me out as well as a killer headache, so I am really far behind. I really can't believe it is Christmas Eve already! Good Grief! Well, I'd better go down and see what is happening with the boys. I think younger daughter is wrapping gifts for her brothers. She can be a sweetie. I really think my boys are better for having sisters. Hopefully their wives will think so some day!
Good News!
Today I have good news! Not only is it Christmas Eve, but I found out I got a raise! And a BONUS! I had been praying about what to do as the insurance went up in November and I already spend so much of my earnings towards insurance and health expenses, that I was thinking maybe I should find another job with greater pay. So I got my resume together and decided to wait to find out what 2009 would look like. Right now with only 2 cars and L working in north Dallas, plus the economy being not so great, I thought wouldn't be a good time to really look. I need to have some flexibility taking and picking up kids, which doesn't sit too well at a brand new job in my field.
I really like what I do: it is interesting and always changing. We get new companies and learn about them and I do most of the accounting for them. I really like my immediate boss because he is very smart and clever and resourceful. He is a great mentor to learn all manner of new things. But, I don't like to feel unappreciated either. I don't want to be stuck working in a company making less than my market value. Right now I do not have that luxury with L's off and on contract employment.
So, after sitting in the dentist's chair for 3 hours getting fitted for a temporary crown on the tooth I broke, I went back to the office and got my laptop and left youngest son in the car. He was with me due to an appointment for his braces at the same time. I peeked in to wish the two main partners I work with a Merry Christmas. They were surprised to see me and said, "Come in, we want to talk to you!" and sounded cheery.
They told me how they appreciated me and my work and that they know I've been underpaid for what I do and that they know they can't really pay me what I'm worth, but that they'd like to give me a nice raise and a bonus as well. Then they handed me the paper for my employment file and it was over $5000.00 raise and $1200 bonus to be paid on the last paycheck of the year 12/31. Wa-hoo!
So I think that is an answer to prayer. :-)
I really like what I do: it is interesting and always changing. We get new companies and learn about them and I do most of the accounting for them. I really like my immediate boss because he is very smart and clever and resourceful. He is a great mentor to learn all manner of new things. But, I don't like to feel unappreciated either. I don't want to be stuck working in a company making less than my market value. Right now I do not have that luxury with L's off and on contract employment.
So, after sitting in the dentist's chair for 3 hours getting fitted for a temporary crown on the tooth I broke, I went back to the office and got my laptop and left youngest son in the car. He was with me due to an appointment for his braces at the same time. I peeked in to wish the two main partners I work with a Merry Christmas. They were surprised to see me and said, "Come in, we want to talk to you!" and sounded cheery.
They told me how they appreciated me and my work and that they know I've been underpaid for what I do and that they know they can't really pay me what I'm worth, but that they'd like to give me a nice raise and a bonus as well. Then they handed me the paper for my employment file and it was over $5000.00 raise and $1200 bonus to be paid on the last paycheck of the year 12/31. Wa-hoo!
So I think that is an answer to prayer. :-)
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Day before Christmas Eve Day
So, yeah....I guess I write about things going wrong. Today was not a great day, but...well...
When we got back from Oklahoma City Sunday afternoon I found out that the washing machine went out. The one that went out before and then miraculously started working has decided not to even turn on at all. With stuff inside of it. And you can't get them out cuz it is locked. So this morning the repairman was coming by between 8 and 12 to give an estimate. Fortunately before I left for work he called to say he was on his way and would be here at 8. So hubby went on to work and I let the kids sleep in. I got on my computer and checked work email and such while I waited. And waited. At 8:25 the van pulled up and then waited some more. Finally about 8:45 he got out of the van and came in and checked it out. A hundred dollars to tell me that it would cost about 400.00 more to replace the sensor and seal. Yeah, right. I mean, it is a really nice frontloading washing machine that cost 899.99 two years ago last March, but good grief you can get a really nice top loading one for under $400.00 new. I asked him to try to get the door open so we can get the stuff out of it and he tried but was afraid he'd break something else....so I didn't press the issue.
Then he sat in his van with my credit card for like another 45 minutes. My suspicious mind was thinking he was doing all his Christmas shopping with my credit card. Hopefully not. I will go online the next few days just in case.
So got to work a little after 10, didn't take a lunch break except to eat a half of a wrap from Subway that Charlie (coworker) got for me. Worked until almost 6:30 and then wrapped up my Christmas shopping. Whew! Now I need to wrap my gifts. OK, did you notice that I used the word "wrap" three times with different meanings in this paragraph? And NOT EVEN INTENTIONALLY! However, I did not listen to rap music while I was doing any of it. Nor did I rap my fingers.
I was pulling into a parking space and miscalculated how close I was to the next car and hit it. Yup, I've been driving a full sized van for exactly 19.5 years and finally did it. The guy was in his truck and not happy. He was getting ready to pull out as i was pulling in. He jumped out of the truck really fast and was disgusted. He started to get mad at me, saying he thought I was going to wait for him to pull out. I was calm as calm could be for some reason. I just said, "Oh dear, I am really sorry. This has been a really bad day. Is there any damage? I didn't think you had enough room to pull out with me there." I was so calm and contrite that he immediately calmed down. I pulled into a different parking spot and we both looked at his truck. No damage that I could see, but he said that his bumper looked like it went in a bit. Then we went and looked at my van. It had some scratches on it, but nothing much really. I was going like 2 mph. He mumbled something about his third accident this year. I asked him what he wanted to do. He looked over at my van and back at his truck and said, "Oh, nevermind. Merry Christmas!"
I said, "Well, thanks, and you, too!"
And he drove off.
And for some reason I wasn't even shaking, upset, or anything. It was like I was so calm. Rare. Cool.
One day at a time. That is my daily prayer. One day at a time. I can do one day at a time.
When we got back from Oklahoma City Sunday afternoon I found out that the washing machine went out. The one that went out before and then miraculously started working has decided not to even turn on at all. With stuff inside of it. And you can't get them out cuz it is locked. So this morning the repairman was coming by between 8 and 12 to give an estimate. Fortunately before I left for work he called to say he was on his way and would be here at 8. So hubby went on to work and I let the kids sleep in. I got on my computer and checked work email and such while I waited. And waited. At 8:25 the van pulled up and then waited some more. Finally about 8:45 he got out of the van and came in and checked it out. A hundred dollars to tell me that it would cost about 400.00 more to replace the sensor and seal. Yeah, right. I mean, it is a really nice frontloading washing machine that cost 899.99 two years ago last March, but good grief you can get a really nice top loading one for under $400.00 new. I asked him to try to get the door open so we can get the stuff out of it and he tried but was afraid he'd break something else....so I didn't press the issue.
Then he sat in his van with my credit card for like another 45 minutes. My suspicious mind was thinking he was doing all his Christmas shopping with my credit card. Hopefully not. I will go online the next few days just in case.
So got to work a little after 10, didn't take a lunch break except to eat a half of a wrap from Subway that Charlie (coworker) got for me. Worked until almost 6:30 and then wrapped up my Christmas shopping. Whew! Now I need to wrap my gifts. OK, did you notice that I used the word "wrap" three times with different meanings in this paragraph? And NOT EVEN INTENTIONALLY! However, I did not listen to rap music while I was doing any of it. Nor did I rap my fingers.
I was pulling into a parking space and miscalculated how close I was to the next car and hit it. Yup, I've been driving a full sized van for exactly 19.5 years and finally did it. The guy was in his truck and not happy. He was getting ready to pull out as i was pulling in. He jumped out of the truck really fast and was disgusted. He started to get mad at me, saying he thought I was going to wait for him to pull out. I was calm as calm could be for some reason. I just said, "Oh dear, I am really sorry. This has been a really bad day. Is there any damage? I didn't think you had enough room to pull out with me there." I was so calm and contrite that he immediately calmed down. I pulled into a different parking spot and we both looked at his truck. No damage that I could see, but he said that his bumper looked like it went in a bit. Then we went and looked at my van. It had some scratches on it, but nothing much really. I was going like 2 mph. He mumbled something about his third accident this year. I asked him what he wanted to do. He looked over at my van and back at his truck and said, "Oh, nevermind. Merry Christmas!"
I said, "Well, thanks, and you, too!"
And he drove off.
And for some reason I wasn't even shaking, upset, or anything. It was like I was so calm. Rare. Cool.
One day at a time. That is my daily prayer. One day at a time. I can do one day at a time.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Oklahoma City part 2
So Thursday was a crazy busy day at work, and of course an hour before I need to leave my immediate boss has all manner of things he needs done even though he was out all day Wednesday and most of Thursday. This is the way it always works, though...
I had massive fog all the way to Oklahoma City. It was actually scarier in the daytime than night. I guess I'm used to not seeing more than a little bit ahead of me at night, but in the daytime it was just scary. Older daughter gave me her itrip to use with my ipod to listen to since I was travelling solo. I couldn't figure out how to get it to work so ended up having to call her, and then of course it was something simple. Sigh. So it was nice listening to various things while driving in the fog. But before that I called and talked to my sister. Yes, I know...I was driving and talking on my cell phone. In the fog. Bad girl. But it did make the time go faster. Then while I was talking to her, I got two calls from work. I ign ored them until after I was done. So I listened to voicemail and it really wasn't anything important. I called V my assistant and ended up finding out what was going on at the office while I was gone. I didn't leave until 3:10, so you wouldn't think all that much would be going on, but apparently things were needed immediately and so on. I decided not to worry so I didn't. But I ended up getting lost somewhat since I didn't take the exit I needed to. I've driven throughOKC before, but never actually done much travelling inside of it and freeways were veering to the right and left and it was confusing. But I managed to finally get to the hotel, checked in, and one trip of stuff put up to the room before heading to the pool and filling up the gas tank. So, yeah, I did get to the pool kinda late, but I should have been on time except for the fact that due to the fog a lot didn't make it Thursday night. He did very well in his part of the 800 free relay, but it didn't count toward his 200 free time as he wasn't first, so kinda bummed about that. So we drove around, got a bite to eat at Sonic (his choice), got his gatorade at 7-11 and went to the hotel. I was going to say went to bed, but although he went to bed pretty quickly after channel surfing for awhile, I stayed up and did a little work on my laptop. Set the alarm for 6:15 am. Yuck.
So I didn't have to take him to the pool for warm up as son's friend's mom was gonna do Friday and I'd do Saturday. So I laid back down after getting him downstairs to the free continental breakfast. When I finally got back up (I didn't sleep, just laid there and rested) I was kinda sore. I think the tenseness of driving in the fog at night and getting lost kinda made my legs ache. I was too late for the continental breakfast as they closed at 9. So I found my way to Walmart and fought the crowds to get all manner of exciting things. I had left my coat at home, not thinking at all whatsoever that I was going north in mid December... so ended up buying a coat at Walmart. Actually I hadn't bought a coat for myself in forever, so it was kinda nice. And even though it was at Walmart it was a nicer one. Like suede and some furry stuff at the neck. And in black so I could wear it for casual or dressy. And it was not very expensive to top it off! So picked up some groceries for DJ --chocolate milk, gatorade, cheese, turkey, rolls, juice, crackers, bananas, and a couple of Christmas presents--and then got to the swim meet in time to watch him get out of the water after his 400 IM. Whoops! Bad mom. I guess there were still some people having trouble getting to the meet and didn't show, making the timeline shorter. So we grabbed a bite at Subway and headed to the motel. While he rested and slept, I worked. Apparently all kinds of things were hopping at the office since guys were wanting to get out of town for the holidays and such, so the big main boss came into my office apparently wondering where I was at. He does not come to the office more than about 8-10 hours a week, but of course when I am gone he needs me for something? V told him that I was at a swim meet, but due to the workload I was there working from the hotel. Which was true. I finished up all kinds of work and ended up working about 4.5 hours altogether. So it is kinda annoying. Like I am taking a day off, end up working most of it, put in a bunch of hours the week before to get ahead, and then feel frowned upon for being gone? Well, I am not going to let it bother me. In face one time one of the guys said something (and I work on average 45 hours/week) and I retorted, "I will be glad to go to hourly wages!" and all of a sudden it was dropped. There is no question in any of the guys' minds that I work more than anybody else in the company. I like to work hard and get a good reputation so that when I need to be gone and have to do things with the kids or whatever, there is no question. However, this main boss guy isn't around to see that I'm working so much, so he has no clue. But I just need to let it go! LOL
I had massive fog all the way to Oklahoma City. It was actually scarier in the daytime than night. I guess I'm used to not seeing more than a little bit ahead of me at night, but in the daytime it was just scary. Older daughter gave me her itrip to use with my ipod to listen to since I was travelling solo. I couldn't figure out how to get it to work so ended up having to call her, and then of course it was something simple. Sigh. So it was nice listening to various things while driving in the fog. But before that I called and talked to my sister. Yes, I know...I was driving and talking on my cell phone. In the fog. Bad girl. But it did make the time go faster. Then while I was talking to her, I got two calls from work. I ign ored them until after I was done. So I listened to voicemail and it really wasn't anything important. I called V my assistant and ended up finding out what was going on at the office while I was gone. I didn't leave until 3:10, so you wouldn't think all that much would be going on, but apparently things were needed immediately and so on. I decided not to worry so I didn't. But I ended up getting lost somewhat since I didn't take the exit I needed to. I've driven throughOKC before, but never actually done much travelling inside of it and freeways were veering to the right and left and it was confusing. But I managed to finally get to the hotel, checked in, and one trip of stuff put up to the room before heading to the pool and filling up the gas tank. So, yeah, I did get to the pool kinda late, but I should have been on time except for the fact that due to the fog a lot didn't make it Thursday night. He did very well in his part of the 800 free relay, but it didn't count toward his 200 free time as he wasn't first, so kinda bummed about that. So we drove around, got a bite to eat at Sonic (his choice), got his gatorade at 7-11 and went to the hotel. I was going to say went to bed, but although he went to bed pretty quickly after channel surfing for awhile, I stayed up and did a little work on my laptop. Set the alarm for 6:15 am. Yuck.
So I didn't have to take him to the pool for warm up as son's friend's mom was gonna do Friday and I'd do Saturday. So I laid back down after getting him downstairs to the free continental breakfast. When I finally got back up (I didn't sleep, just laid there and rested) I was kinda sore. I think the tenseness of driving in the fog at night and getting lost kinda made my legs ache. I was too late for the continental breakfast as they closed at 9. So I found my way to Walmart and fought the crowds to get all manner of exciting things. I had left my coat at home, not thinking at all whatsoever that I was going north in mid December... so ended up buying a coat at Walmart. Actually I hadn't bought a coat for myself in forever, so it was kinda nice. And even though it was at Walmart it was a nicer one. Like suede and some furry stuff at the neck. And in black so I could wear it for casual or dressy. And it was not very expensive to top it off! So picked up some groceries for DJ --chocolate milk, gatorade, cheese, turkey, rolls, juice, crackers, bananas, and a couple of Christmas presents--and then got to the swim meet in time to watch him get out of the water after his 400 IM. Whoops! Bad mom. I guess there were still some people having trouble getting to the meet and didn't show, making the timeline shorter. So we grabbed a bite at Subway and headed to the motel. While he rested and slept, I worked. Apparently all kinds of things were hopping at the office since guys were wanting to get out of town for the holidays and such, so the big main boss came into my office apparently wondering where I was at. He does not come to the office more than about 8-10 hours a week, but of course when I am gone he needs me for something? V told him that I was at a swim meet, but due to the workload I was there working from the hotel. Which was true. I finished up all kinds of work and ended up working about 4.5 hours altogether. So it is kinda annoying. Like I am taking a day off, end up working most of it, put in a bunch of hours the week before to get ahead, and then feel frowned upon for being gone? Well, I am not going to let it bother me. In face one time one of the guys said something (and I work on average 45 hours/week) and I retorted, "I will be glad to go to hourly wages!" and all of a sudden it was dropped. There is no question in any of the guys' minds that I work more than anybody else in the company. I like to work hard and get a good reputation so that when I need to be gone and have to do things with the kids or whatever, there is no question. However, this main boss guy isn't around to see that I'm working so much, so he has no clue. But I just need to let it go! LOL
Oklahoma City
Yawn! I haven't written in awhile, not because not much has gone on, but because I've been scattered here and there and trying to write has not been the top priority, unfortunately. I am writing in a hotel in Oklahoma City for my youngest son's swim meet.
OK, the biggest news is that the red car died. Well, the first thing that happened was the electronic windows would not work, so two windows are perpetually halfway down. Then it wouldn't pass inspection this summer, so it has been driven anyway...
Well oldest daughter had a blowout tire the day after the last time I posted, which required hubby to change to spare tire and take it to the shop. On top of that, some light had been on the past day or so she said, so it needed something or another that was going to cost 900.00. Well, what with that cost on top of a new tire and the stuff to fix it enough to get inspected ....the car wasn't worth it. Plus, heading into winter (even the lame winters we have get cold sometimes) with two windows halfway down.... The reason it couldn't be inspected was the fact that the car is old and needed parts that were having to be special ordered and rather costly.
So you ask, why would you spend money on a hotel room so son could go to swim meet rather than get car fixed? I have no idea. It is our craziness I suppose. No, seriously here is what happened: We had told youngest son that if dad did not have a job we would not be able to go to this meet. Then dad got that first contract job, so it was already planned for him to get to go, hotel already paid for during Thanksgiving weekend, when the first contract job fell through, then the car thing happened. So in order to get the good hotel price you had to pay up front. So I guess we could have saved the gas money, but with prices at 1.49, the trip will be under 100.00 even with my running all over Oklahoma City trying to find a Walmart. And a Target. To get a couple of presents and get my red Target bags to finish up that tote. Which, by the way, they ran out of. So I am not looking for red Christmas Target sacks to finish it. Maybe back home they will still have one.
Which, of course, is another story.
But anyway, we are here and I've had all kinds of plans to get things done while he is swimming and sleeping but hasn't worked out quite like I planned. Which is normal!
Anyway, back to the car.... of course having only 2 cars, and both of us working has led to all manner of complications. On top of this, oldest son's car has been out of commission this week, too, so he was no help. Since hubby's new contract is far far away in the outer regions of Mongolia (er.. I mean Dallas) he has to leave early and come home rather late. So as far as transporting kids to school, that left me.
Monday wasn't so bad because we'd planned for somebody to pick up the kids from school. This is finals week (they started on Aug 11!) so rather odd schedule after Monday. So, hubby drops off son at swim practice at 5:30 and then heads off to new contract job. I get younger daughter up, check older daughter's blood sugar and she's been throwing up sick all night. She'd called in sick to work and went back to bed. So take younger daughter and pick up son at swim practice and get them to school. Son is a slowpoke and so I get mad at him for having to wait and we are nearly late to school, so in trying to teach him lesson he is denied the yummy breakfast we'd brought him, and he has to starve. Well, we did bring his lunch that he'd packed Sunday night, so do not think he will starve. And he didn't. So went to work feeling bad like moms do when they have to give their kids some discipline. Anyway, worked my tail off at work and then had to leave at 4:30 to pick up son for swim practice before Christmas banquet at swimming. So drop him off and head back home and weather is getting yucky. It is getting colder and a nasty wind is from the north. Check on daughter and she is still sick. No fever, wants a diet sprite really bad. So I tell her I will get her one after the Christmas thing. She was supposed to have made cupcakes for this deal, but due to feeling awful, she just made a cake. I frosted it since she wasn't feeling well. Anyway, talked to younger daughter, waited for hubby to get home, and then we headed off to swim banquet. Well, we were late as traffic was horrible and roads were getting slick in places (not that many, really, though) but the published time said that the younger ones would eat first and then the older ones at 6:45. It was only 6:30 and everybody was finishing up! It was so weird. Well, because everybody in Texas is so paranoid about ice and sleet and such, they were trying to end this banquet early. So L and I and another lady who works in Dallas were sitting there eating the food while people were taking off tablecloths, centerpieces, and basically packing up. Now that felt really uncomfortable. Oh well. The food was yummy. Then when we were not even halfway done, son comes by and says he is ready to leave. Needless to say, there was not much of the cake eaten, so we took it back home. We'd seen the traffic backed up both ways on the freeway, so we headed home the back roads, which isn't that much slower on a good day, and picked up the diet sprite. What a weird day!
Then Tuesday was another crazy day. No swimming in the morning, so let son sleep in since he was exempt from finals. Took daughter to school and then I went to work. Older daughter still not feeling so great. She had dentist appt scheduled back when she had a car to drive, so I decided to switch. My dentist appt was the next Monday with younger daughter's. So went over during my lunch and got my teeth cleaned and tried to get them to figure out how to deal with my new insurance. They are not the most organized people in that office. Anyway, had to leave early again to pick up younger daughter from school and get son to swim practice. Had older daughter put ham in the oven so I made mashed potatoes to go with that. Hubby picked up son from swimming after work and had a nice dinner together (well just the 5 of us that is)
Wednesday was interesting. I took daughter to school and then picked up her up at lunch and took her home. Then I had lunch with an older lady at church that has gone through all kinds of things with her now grown children. Sometimes it is nice for me to talk with somebody that has already been through this stage of life with their kids since my mom is no longer alive and I am not close to any older women. It's nice to get perspective. I told C that if she wouldn't mind having lunch once a month or whatever, I'd love to get her views on life. She and her husband head up the Celebrate Recovery group at church, so she's seen and heard it all! So my life isn't at all shocking to her! LOL. After a long lunch, I worked hard all afternoon at work and then left again at 4:30 to get son to swim practice. I thought older daughter might be going stir crazy from being sick and stuck in the house for 3 days, so asked if she wanted to go with me and after dropping him off, head to the mall with the promise of a Chick Fil A salad or something for dinner. Hubby had a lunch at his new job and younger daughter was going to a youth Christmas party, so not planning to have anything but ham leftovers anyway. Well, she was excited and we had a nice time. Turns out she was craving orange chicken, so for the same price as a salad, she got some Chinese food with two kinds of meats and rice. I wasn't very hungry so had a chicken sandwich. I had some coupons, so this was not too bad. Found a mall place going out of business so daughter picked up a couple of things very cheap and I got a couple of Christmas gifts. It was a pleasant time together, even if we did have trouble getting out of the mall parking lot as it was so crowded. Finished about the time to pick up son, so got him and headed home and packed for Oklahoma City. Had youngest son pack as well, as he was going to have to go with me to work in the morning. He found out that he was going to be on a relay Thursday night, so either I had to leave work at like 11, or ride with another boy. I told him no way I could leave that early, so he found a ride with G who lives near my work. It is amazing how resourceful a 14 year old boy can be when he is motivated.
So, took daughter to school and middle brother was to pick her up as he was off work Thursday. Then son ate and played on computer until 10:30 when I ran him over to G's house, about 5 minutes away. Came back and worked like a dog until 3. Then headed out of town in a fog. Literally. It was SO foggy that it was kinda scary driving. Fortunately Oklahoma City is a straight shot up I 35. Unfortunately I didn't know exactly where I was going and got lost and started going north of Oklahoma City trying to find the hotel. Driving in the fog at night when you don't know where you are going is not fun. Especially when you run into road construction. And your gas tank meter doesn't work. And you think you are about to run out of gas. So I called hubby and tried to get directions, but then I stopped and looked at the map and got my bearings and found the hotel and the gas station. Checked in and then zipped over to the pool and I just missed his race. I knew I would miss the relay, but didn't realize it would be over so soon. Well, figured out that because of the fog several of the teams didn't make it, so the meet was over sooner than expected. So waited around forever after that while he cooled down, talked to the coach, took a long shower and got dressed. Sigh. I drove around trying to find a Walmart forever, too, so we could get some gatorades for him, but we ended up at Sonic eating dinner. And picked up a gatorade for the next morning at a convenience store. I hate paying those prices, but I told him I'd get more Friday morning. The room was huge at the hotel! It could have fit our whole family with two beds and this huge long sectional sofa . I've never seen such a big hotel room except on TV. And for just the 2 of us. What a waste of space!
OK, the biggest news is that the red car died. Well, the first thing that happened was the electronic windows would not work, so two windows are perpetually halfway down. Then it wouldn't pass inspection this summer, so it has been driven anyway...
Well oldest daughter had a blowout tire the day after the last time I posted, which required hubby to change to spare tire and take it to the shop. On top of that, some light had been on the past day or so she said, so it needed something or another that was going to cost 900.00. Well, what with that cost on top of a new tire and the stuff to fix it enough to get inspected ....the car wasn't worth it. Plus, heading into winter (even the lame winters we have get cold sometimes) with two windows halfway down.... The reason it couldn't be inspected was the fact that the car is old and needed parts that were having to be special ordered and rather costly.
So you ask, why would you spend money on a hotel room so son could go to swim meet rather than get car fixed? I have no idea. It is our craziness I suppose. No, seriously here is what happened: We had told youngest son that if dad did not have a job we would not be able to go to this meet. Then dad got that first contract job, so it was already planned for him to get to go, hotel already paid for during Thanksgiving weekend, when the first contract job fell through, then the car thing happened. So in order to get the good hotel price you had to pay up front. So I guess we could have saved the gas money, but with prices at 1.49, the trip will be under 100.00 even with my running all over Oklahoma City trying to find a Walmart. And a Target. To get a couple of presents and get my red Target bags to finish up that tote. Which, by the way, they ran out of. So I am not looking for red Christmas Target sacks to finish it. Maybe back home they will still have one.
Which, of course, is another story.
But anyway, we are here and I've had all kinds of plans to get things done while he is swimming and sleeping but hasn't worked out quite like I planned. Which is normal!
Anyway, back to the car.... of course having only 2 cars, and both of us working has led to all manner of complications. On top of this, oldest son's car has been out of commission this week, too, so he was no help. Since hubby's new contract is far far away in the outer regions of Mongolia (er.. I mean Dallas) he has to leave early and come home rather late. So as far as transporting kids to school, that left me.
Monday wasn't so bad because we'd planned for somebody to pick up the kids from school. This is finals week (they started on Aug 11!) so rather odd schedule after Monday. So, hubby drops off son at swim practice at 5:30 and then heads off to new contract job. I get younger daughter up, check older daughter's blood sugar and she's been throwing up sick all night. She'd called in sick to work and went back to bed. So take younger daughter and pick up son at swim practice and get them to school. Son is a slowpoke and so I get mad at him for having to wait and we are nearly late to school, so in trying to teach him lesson he is denied the yummy breakfast we'd brought him, and he has to starve. Well, we did bring his lunch that he'd packed Sunday night, so do not think he will starve. And he didn't. So went to work feeling bad like moms do when they have to give their kids some discipline. Anyway, worked my tail off at work and then had to leave at 4:30 to pick up son for swim practice before Christmas banquet at swimming. So drop him off and head back home and weather is getting yucky. It is getting colder and a nasty wind is from the north. Check on daughter and she is still sick. No fever, wants a diet sprite really bad. So I tell her I will get her one after the Christmas thing. She was supposed to have made cupcakes for this deal, but due to feeling awful, she just made a cake. I frosted it since she wasn't feeling well. Anyway, talked to younger daughter, waited for hubby to get home, and then we headed off to swim banquet. Well, we were late as traffic was horrible and roads were getting slick in places (not that many, really, though) but the published time said that the younger ones would eat first and then the older ones at 6:45. It was only 6:30 and everybody was finishing up! It was so weird. Well, because everybody in Texas is so paranoid about ice and sleet and such, they were trying to end this banquet early. So L and I and another lady who works in Dallas were sitting there eating the food while people were taking off tablecloths, centerpieces, and basically packing up. Now that felt really uncomfortable. Oh well. The food was yummy. Then when we were not even halfway done, son comes by and says he is ready to leave. Needless to say, there was not much of the cake eaten, so we took it back home. We'd seen the traffic backed up both ways on the freeway, so we headed home the back roads, which isn't that much slower on a good day, and picked up the diet sprite. What a weird day!
Then Tuesday was another crazy day. No swimming in the morning, so let son sleep in since he was exempt from finals. Took daughter to school and then I went to work. Older daughter still not feeling so great. She had dentist appt scheduled back when she had a car to drive, so I decided to switch. My dentist appt was the next Monday with younger daughter's. So went over during my lunch and got my teeth cleaned and tried to get them to figure out how to deal with my new insurance. They are not the most organized people in that office. Anyway, had to leave early again to pick up younger daughter from school and get son to swim practice. Had older daughter put ham in the oven so I made mashed potatoes to go with that. Hubby picked up son from swimming after work and had a nice dinner together (well just the 5 of us that is)
Wednesday was interesting. I took daughter to school and then picked up her up at lunch and took her home. Then I had lunch with an older lady at church that has gone through all kinds of things with her now grown children. Sometimes it is nice for me to talk with somebody that has already been through this stage of life with their kids since my mom is no longer alive and I am not close to any older women. It's nice to get perspective. I told C that if she wouldn't mind having lunch once a month or whatever, I'd love to get her views on life. She and her husband head up the Celebrate Recovery group at church, so she's seen and heard it all! So my life isn't at all shocking to her! LOL. After a long lunch, I worked hard all afternoon at work and then left again at 4:30 to get son to swim practice. I thought older daughter might be going stir crazy from being sick and stuck in the house for 3 days, so asked if she wanted to go with me and after dropping him off, head to the mall with the promise of a Chick Fil A salad or something for dinner. Hubby had a lunch at his new job and younger daughter was going to a youth Christmas party, so not planning to have anything but ham leftovers anyway. Well, she was excited and we had a nice time. Turns out she was craving orange chicken, so for the same price as a salad, she got some Chinese food with two kinds of meats and rice. I wasn't very hungry so had a chicken sandwich. I had some coupons, so this was not too bad. Found a mall place going out of business so daughter picked up a couple of things very cheap and I got a couple of Christmas gifts. It was a pleasant time together, even if we did have trouble getting out of the mall parking lot as it was so crowded. Finished about the time to pick up son, so got him and headed home and packed for Oklahoma City. Had youngest son pack as well, as he was going to have to go with me to work in the morning. He found out that he was going to be on a relay Thursday night, so either I had to leave work at like 11, or ride with another boy. I told him no way I could leave that early, so he found a ride with G who lives near my work. It is amazing how resourceful a 14 year old boy can be when he is motivated.
So, took daughter to school and middle brother was to pick her up as he was off work Thursday. Then son ate and played on computer until 10:30 when I ran him over to G's house, about 5 minutes away. Came back and worked like a dog until 3. Then headed out of town in a fog. Literally. It was SO foggy that it was kinda scary driving. Fortunately Oklahoma City is a straight shot up I 35. Unfortunately I didn't know exactly where I was going and got lost and started going north of Oklahoma City trying to find the hotel. Driving in the fog at night when you don't know where you are going is not fun. Especially when you run into road construction. And your gas tank meter doesn't work. And you think you are about to run out of gas. So I called hubby and tried to get directions, but then I stopped and looked at the map and got my bearings and found the hotel and the gas station. Checked in and then zipped over to the pool and I just missed his race. I knew I would miss the relay, but didn't realize it would be over so soon. Well, figured out that because of the fog several of the teams didn't make it, so the meet was over sooner than expected. So waited around forever after that while he cooled down, talked to the coach, took a long shower and got dressed. Sigh. I drove around trying to find a Walmart forever, too, so we could get some gatorades for him, but we ended up at Sonic eating dinner. And picked up a gatorade for the next morning at a convenience store. I hate paying those prices, but I told him I'd get more Friday morning. The room was huge at the hotel! It could have fit our whole family with two beds and this huge long sectional sofa . I've never seen such a big hotel room except on TV. And for just the 2 of us. What a waste of space!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Selfishness
I was supposed to have lunch plans but they got cancelled so decided to stay in the office today. It is really cold outside and I do not feel like taking the effort. I had some cereal this morning (bran, even!) so I should be able to make it on a banana for lunch. Maybe I will leave earlier than 7 tonight.
Well I am pretty disappointed that L's contract job doesn't start now until Monday. Part of me is letting it roll right off my back and trusting God to provide for us, and part of me is really frustrated. When I am frustrated I tend to feel sorry for myself and blame L for all our problems. I know he's not perfect, but neither am I. I've learned to be more merciful because of him, but I do get frustrated that he is a procrastinator at times. I have been really aware of my shortcomings lately, particularly in dealing with my older daughter. From the outside it appears that I am selfless, but I know deep inside I really deal with my own selfishness. And I hate it. I recognize that I always think first about how something will affect me, and then make choices to do the right thing. Well, not always, but I try to make choices to do the right thing. But I fail.
I love chocolate. And my favorites are those Christmas Hershey's bells. They are so good, and they were on sale at Target so I got a bag and put them in my drawer at work. Not a good idea. It only took two days for them to disappear and I am the only one that ate any.... no wonder I am not having any success with losing weight. Sheesh. There is something comforting about chocolate, though. I noticed that the more stressful my life, the more I crave chocolate. I am not sure how to change that yet. Or maybe I am not willing to.
Well I am pretty disappointed that L's contract job doesn't start now until Monday. Part of me is letting it roll right off my back and trusting God to provide for us, and part of me is really frustrated. When I am frustrated I tend to feel sorry for myself and blame L for all our problems. I know he's not perfect, but neither am I. I've learned to be more merciful because of him, but I do get frustrated that he is a procrastinator at times. I have been really aware of my shortcomings lately, particularly in dealing with my older daughter. From the outside it appears that I am selfless, but I know deep inside I really deal with my own selfishness. And I hate it. I recognize that I always think first about how something will affect me, and then make choices to do the right thing. Well, not always, but I try to make choices to do the right thing. But I fail.
I love chocolate. And my favorites are those Christmas Hershey's bells. They are so good, and they were on sale at Target so I got a bag and put them in my drawer at work. Not a good idea. It only took two days for them to disappear and I am the only one that ate any.... no wonder I am not having any success with losing weight. Sheesh. There is something comforting about chocolate, though. I noticed that the more stressful my life, the more I crave chocolate. I am not sure how to change that yet. Or maybe I am not willing to.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Long Day at Work
Whew, long day at the office! I was there from 5:45 am till about 7:30 pm. Some days are productive, and today was one of them. My assistant was out today after surgery on her knee on Friday, so I buckled down and tackled one of the company's bank reconciliation that was a bear. And another company's budget for 2009. I took an hour for lunch and went to Target and picked up a few things. Well, I've been using Target bags to make various purses and stuff, and they have these big red ones for Christmas with grayish on the back. OK, I know I am a nutcase, but nevertheless I asked if they'd put my stuff in those bigger bags. They had 5 boxes of crackers on sale with a 5.00 gift card, so got those and then some ink cartridges for the printer at home. Oh, and one of older daughter's prescriptions was ready. And shampoo and conditioners were on sale. The big bottles of the cheaper kind for 1.57. We go through a whole lot of shampoo and conditioner at our home. My swim son takes two showers a day and always uses conditioner...snicker. He is higher maintenance than his sisters with his showers and acne medicine and stuff. He's tried a bunch of acne medicine, some even prescription, but seems to do the best with the Proactiv stuff. For some reason son number 1 had mild acne as a teen, but sons number 2 and 3 have had more sensitive skin and much acne. The girls have had a little bit here and there, but nothing much really like their brothers. It is weird how all that acne stuff works. I think it is hereditary, but neither L nor I had it that bad. OK, now how did I get from the Target bags to acne????
Anyway, I cut up the big red and gray Target bags and am making a cute tote out of them. I have no idea why, but it is kind of fun to crochet and they go really fast. I work on my little craft projects a little bit each day and they end up being done eventually. With working I really don't have much time to work on things like that, but I like to do stuff with my hands when I'm sitting around talking to the kids. They don't mind when I'm doing that sort of thing, but don't like it when they are trying to talk to me and I'm on the computer....
Well, I found out that hubby starts the new job contract on Wednesday! That is wonderful. He's printing out some Christmas pictures that I'm sending out this year instead of a letter while I am typing this on my work laptop. I really didn't feel like doing a letter as nothing really interesting to report and I really hate those braggy type ones, anyway. So am sending out a picture of our family with individual pictures of all of us doing something from this year. I enjoy reading those letters, but a lot of times they make me either feel guilty or like a loser. I mean I love my kids and all, but they really haven't done anything too newsworthy. I really mainly enjoy seeing pictures of the people that live far away that I don't get to see very often. Of course now with FACEBOOK and stuff I have more contact with old friends and family than ever before. I really hate getting just a card with a name in it and nothing else. That is really boring, sort of just lets you know that they are still alive.
I am getting loopy now so I guess I will get off and get ready for bed. Oldest daughter is working until 11 and I hear the thunder outside. A front is supposed to come in tonight and rather windy, but not cold. I'm jealous as my sister is getting snow! Of course living about 1000 miles due north makes a difference...
Anyway, I cut up the big red and gray Target bags and am making a cute tote out of them. I have no idea why, but it is kind of fun to crochet and they go really fast. I work on my little craft projects a little bit each day and they end up being done eventually. With working I really don't have much time to work on things like that, but I like to do stuff with my hands when I'm sitting around talking to the kids. They don't mind when I'm doing that sort of thing, but don't like it when they are trying to talk to me and I'm on the computer....
Well, I found out that hubby starts the new job contract on Wednesday! That is wonderful. He's printing out some Christmas pictures that I'm sending out this year instead of a letter while I am typing this on my work laptop. I really didn't feel like doing a letter as nothing really interesting to report and I really hate those braggy type ones, anyway. So am sending out a picture of our family with individual pictures of all of us doing something from this year. I enjoy reading those letters, but a lot of times they make me either feel guilty or like a loser. I mean I love my kids and all, but they really haven't done anything too newsworthy. I really mainly enjoy seeing pictures of the people that live far away that I don't get to see very often. Of course now with FACEBOOK and stuff I have more contact with old friends and family than ever before. I really hate getting just a card with a name in it and nothing else. That is really boring, sort of just lets you know that they are still alive.
I am getting loopy now so I guess I will get off and get ready for bed. Oldest daughter is working until 11 and I hear the thunder outside. A front is supposed to come in tonight and rather windy, but not cold. I'm jealous as my sister is getting snow! Of course living about 1000 miles due north makes a difference...
Hope
So, hubby called on Thursday to find out about the other contract job and good news! It was still open, but they were interviewing some people. However, he was still the best candidate. So on Thursday and Friday he dealt with them to try to finalize everything. He was able to get a new tire for the car we borrowed and get the car back to them as they flew in Thursday afternoon.
I know I am spoiled when he is home. There is less stress for me around the home when I know he is there taking care of things. But I just don't make enough for us to live on with the situation we are in right now. Had we not had several years of waiting for him to get a job, putting us in a bad situation, or if we didn't have a daughter whose medication is so expensive, or if my employers paid more of my health insurance, we would be able to make it. We are not extravagant people. We try to live fairly simply. But after several years of not much income things have broken down and we owe money places. I hate this. I grew up debt free and would have preferred my life to stay that way. However, it has not worked out MY way. And I am living with that.
Well, I was just dealing with the emotions of Wednesday night when I got a text from my older daughter. She started out wanting to tell me something negative. So I texted back saying I was busy at work and please do not tell me anything bad right now. But then she did anyway. I guess she got the other side of her lip pierced by a classmate. This was not something I wanted to hear about then. I really started having trouble dealing with my emotions at that point and couldn't concentrate on my work. I know it is not the end of the world, but when is this going to stop? Being diabetic makes it more complicated. She doesn't need to have all that done to her body right now. So I was mad. And when I am mad at her it is best for me to calm down before talking or dealing with her. So I did. I prayed for self control. I wanted to tell her all manner of awful things. But I didn't. I ignored her texts. Finally after she kept wanting to know if I was mad, I said I had work to do and would be working late. Period. No discussion about it. She knows how I feel. Her dad was able to talk with her about it. Both of us are unhappy. I did learn a lot about holding my tongue. So THAT is a good thing.
But I was rather annoyed that she was so selfish that she had to do this when she KNEW we were all really having a hard time. And that is the hard part. She is so incredibly self absorbed.
I think both her dad and I try to set an example of putting aside our own things when anyone else is having problems. Not perfectly, but we're trying. I think as a mom I've had to learn that teenagers are not usually intentionally trying to make your life miserable, they just are so self centered they don't even think. And that is painful sometimes. Sigh.
So now it is Monday and hopefully he will start this contract job this week. It's hard to go through Christmastime with his not working.
I know I am spoiled when he is home. There is less stress for me around the home when I know he is there taking care of things. But I just don't make enough for us to live on with the situation we are in right now. Had we not had several years of waiting for him to get a job, putting us in a bad situation, or if we didn't have a daughter whose medication is so expensive, or if my employers paid more of my health insurance, we would be able to make it. We are not extravagant people. We try to live fairly simply. But after several years of not much income things have broken down and we owe money places. I hate this. I grew up debt free and would have preferred my life to stay that way. However, it has not worked out MY way. And I am living with that.
Well, I was just dealing with the emotions of Wednesday night when I got a text from my older daughter. She started out wanting to tell me something negative. So I texted back saying I was busy at work and please do not tell me anything bad right now. But then she did anyway. I guess she got the other side of her lip pierced by a classmate. This was not something I wanted to hear about then. I really started having trouble dealing with my emotions at that point and couldn't concentrate on my work. I know it is not the end of the world, but when is this going to stop? Being diabetic makes it more complicated. She doesn't need to have all that done to her body right now. So I was mad. And when I am mad at her it is best for me to calm down before talking or dealing with her. So I did. I prayed for self control. I wanted to tell her all manner of awful things. But I didn't. I ignored her texts. Finally after she kept wanting to know if I was mad, I said I had work to do and would be working late. Period. No discussion about it. She knows how I feel. Her dad was able to talk with her about it. Both of us are unhappy. I did learn a lot about holding my tongue. So THAT is a good thing.
But I was rather annoyed that she was so selfish that she had to do this when she KNEW we were all really having a hard time. And that is the hard part. She is so incredibly self absorbed.
I think both her dad and I try to set an example of putting aside our own things when anyone else is having problems. Not perfectly, but we're trying. I think as a mom I've had to learn that teenagers are not usually intentionally trying to make your life miserable, they just are so self centered they don't even think. And that is painful sometimes. Sigh.
So now it is Monday and hopefully he will start this contract job this week. It's hard to go through Christmastime with his not working.
Stress
Stress. Everybody has it to some degree if they are at least school age. Everybody thinks their stress level is higher than the average person. I know I am guilty of thinking that surely there really are not that many people that have this level of stress in their lives. Only I find out after talking with people that everybody thinks the same way! Of course when you are dealing with difficult circumstances & situations it feels so much worse than what others must be experiencing. Not true.
Anyway, the stress level on Wednesday night was more than I could handle. Fortunately I have a wonderful God that helps me when I cry out to Him. And he did. Miraculously I got through that night. I didn't really want to write about it right away as I was so frustrated. With God. Yeah, I get really irritated with the way he works in my life. I know that I really need a lot of work or he wouldn't send me stuff all the time. Smile.
Work was very stressful last week. As an accountant, the first ten days of a month are the craziest. And it was crazier because of having 2 days off for Thanksgiving. I left work about 6 and picked up my husband to pick up the van that was finished. Then I headed to run a quick errand that included waiting for a train before picking up swimmer son. I was running a little late, but not much as he takes forever in the shower as I have mentioned before. And I got irritated with somebody in the right lane that was trying to cut me off. So I went over to the middle lane awhile when I heard a loud racket. There was a big truck to the left of me, so I thought that was it. Nope. It went by and the car still made the noise. Since this was a borrowed car I was unfamiliar with the feel and noises of it, but I did know that this was NOT good. So I pulled over to the right which was right by a merge lane and not very safe. I peeked out and there was a flat on the left rear tire. Urgh! I immediately called husband and then started trying to call people at swimming. By this time he would be waiting for me. Fortunately I was able to get his friend G's cell phone and left a message. A few minutes later swim son called me and I was able to let him know what the problem was. About 10 minutes later hubby arrived and I took the van to pick up youngest son. He was waiting there with one of the coaches. I thanked him profusely and headed back to the car to help. I had some gatorades in the car, so he was able to have a drink while we waited awhile.
Anyway, after much toil and calling the car owner and what not, I left with son to grab some sub sandwiches and head home. L was fixing the tire or having it towed and would meet us shortly.
Got home about 9 pm and middle son was there, so we all just sat down to enjoy some sub sandwiches, when L walked in. His face was white. I asked if he was able to get the car home. Yes. Didn't need to have it towed. However, the contract that he just started on Monday ended. Abruptly. The company killed the entire project he was to be working on. Dead silence. His voice cracked. Everyone's shoulders sagged. Sigh. Then quietly I asked if he could maybe get the other contract that he'd turned down? Hopefully yes. Suddenly I couldn't eat another bite. The bite of sandwich stuck in my throat. I took a sip of water and pushed my chair back. It would be a long night.
But we didn't have time to grieve as we were helping youngest son with the big presentation tomorrow at school. L got busy helping him make apple muffins to bring while I typed out his Apple to Apple style cards with history facts. I'm not great in Microsoft Word and it took me forever to print out cards with little apples on the back. I got to bed about 1:15 exhausted. But I did sleep well until about 5 when I woke up thinking about the job situation. I prayed to have hope. Faith. Trust. They are so hard sometimes.
Anyway, the stress level on Wednesday night was more than I could handle. Fortunately I have a wonderful God that helps me when I cry out to Him. And he did. Miraculously I got through that night. I didn't really want to write about it right away as I was so frustrated. With God. Yeah, I get really irritated with the way he works in my life. I know that I really need a lot of work or he wouldn't send me stuff all the time. Smile.
Work was very stressful last week. As an accountant, the first ten days of a month are the craziest. And it was crazier because of having 2 days off for Thanksgiving. I left work about 6 and picked up my husband to pick up the van that was finished. Then I headed to run a quick errand that included waiting for a train before picking up swimmer son. I was running a little late, but not much as he takes forever in the shower as I have mentioned before. And I got irritated with somebody in the right lane that was trying to cut me off. So I went over to the middle lane awhile when I heard a loud racket. There was a big truck to the left of me, so I thought that was it. Nope. It went by and the car still made the noise. Since this was a borrowed car I was unfamiliar with the feel and noises of it, but I did know that this was NOT good. So I pulled over to the right which was right by a merge lane and not very safe. I peeked out and there was a flat on the left rear tire. Urgh! I immediately called husband and then started trying to call people at swimming. By this time he would be waiting for me. Fortunately I was able to get his friend G's cell phone and left a message. A few minutes later swim son called me and I was able to let him know what the problem was. About 10 minutes later hubby arrived and I took the van to pick up youngest son. He was waiting there with one of the coaches. I thanked him profusely and headed back to the car to help. I had some gatorades in the car, so he was able to have a drink while we waited awhile.
Anyway, after much toil and calling the car owner and what not, I left with son to grab some sub sandwiches and head home. L was fixing the tire or having it towed and would meet us shortly.
Got home about 9 pm and middle son was there, so we all just sat down to enjoy some sub sandwiches, when L walked in. His face was white. I asked if he was able to get the car home. Yes. Didn't need to have it towed. However, the contract that he just started on Monday ended. Abruptly. The company killed the entire project he was to be working on. Dead silence. His voice cracked. Everyone's shoulders sagged. Sigh. Then quietly I asked if he could maybe get the other contract that he'd turned down? Hopefully yes. Suddenly I couldn't eat another bite. The bite of sandwich stuck in my throat. I took a sip of water and pushed my chair back. It would be a long night.
But we didn't have time to grieve as we were helping youngest son with the big presentation tomorrow at school. L got busy helping him make apple muffins to bring while I typed out his Apple to Apple style cards with history facts. I'm not great in Microsoft Word and it took me forever to print out cards with little apples on the back. I got to bed about 1:15 exhausted. But I did sleep well until about 5 when I woke up thinking about the job situation. I prayed to have hope. Faith. Trust. They are so hard sometimes.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Tuesday
Today's big adventure on the way to swimming (now that the car alarm deal was figured out) was an accident. Not mine, however. L called to let me know there was an accident on the freeway, so we went the back roads to swimming. We had to go through a fast food drive through in order to feed my starving swimmer, and of course because we were running late, we had to get behind somebody ordering something really difficult I guess. I was writing tardy notes while waiting in the drive-thru lane just in case. Youngest son was the last to be picked up, but the coach was still inside, so whew! Fortunately, the freeway going the other direction on the way to school was clear, so we made it on time.
Speaking of starving swimmers, mine is a huge pig after he swims. Yesterday he ate 3 breakfast sandwiches and a gatorade and was still hungry. He usually has 3 sandwiches and various other items in his lunch and of course comes home at 3:30 starving as well. He does not have an ounce of fat on him, either. I told him that if he keeps on eating like this he'd better NEVER stop swimming because he would be enormous. He's only 14 so I think he's still growing, though. I don't remember my other sons being such big eaters, but then they played football at this age, and didn't swim 5 hours a day...
Well, the transmission guy called to let us know that our transmission work would be close to 2000.00. Yikes, on a 2000 van? Well, I did let my boss know. I think he sort of gulped and asked if that would be all and was it worth it? I said, yeah, it should be good for awhile after that. He probably wished he never offered.... I really don't know where the money is coming from, but I do consider it a huge blessing. I know that God has always provided for us through many random ways. I am so grateful.
Also I ended up having a wonderful text conversation with older daughter. As I've mentioned before, for some reason topics are brought up that are hard to discuss in person. I know it is rather unconventional, but it is really nice that she feels comfortable sharing all manner of things by text. I get a nice little peek into her inmost being with text messaging. Strange, but you know what? I love my kids so much and want to be a part of their lives, no matter how it works out.
And my sweet husband is cleaning up dinner after working all day and grilling some chicken fajitas that I marinated a couple of days ago...while I am sitting here on this. I am so fortunate. I am trying to be more grateful for my blessings. Today it was easy.
Speaking of starving swimmers, mine is a huge pig after he swims. Yesterday he ate 3 breakfast sandwiches and a gatorade and was still hungry. He usually has 3 sandwiches and various other items in his lunch and of course comes home at 3:30 starving as well. He does not have an ounce of fat on him, either. I told him that if he keeps on eating like this he'd better NEVER stop swimming because he would be enormous. He's only 14 so I think he's still growing, though. I don't remember my other sons being such big eaters, but then they played football at this age, and didn't swim 5 hours a day...
Well, the transmission guy called to let us know that our transmission work would be close to 2000.00. Yikes, on a 2000 van? Well, I did let my boss know. I think he sort of gulped and asked if that would be all and was it worth it? I said, yeah, it should be good for awhile after that. He probably wished he never offered.... I really don't know where the money is coming from, but I do consider it a huge blessing. I know that God has always provided for us through many random ways. I am so grateful.
Also I ended up having a wonderful text conversation with older daughter. As I've mentioned before, for some reason topics are brought up that are hard to discuss in person. I know it is rather unconventional, but it is really nice that she feels comfortable sharing all manner of things by text. I get a nice little peek into her inmost being with text messaging. Strange, but you know what? I love my kids so much and want to be a part of their lives, no matter how it works out.
And my sweet husband is cleaning up dinner after working all day and grilling some chicken fajitas that I marinated a couple of days ago...while I am sitting here on this. I am so fortunate. I am trying to be more grateful for my blessings. Today it was easy.
A new week
Well, our week started out with a bang! First off, L took swimmer son to his swim practice at 5:30 and then went on to his first day of his new contract job. Younger daughter and I left about 7:10 and put his school stuff in the car and in so doing, set off the car alarm somehow... I didn't know how to shut it off so I am sure the neighbors were thrilled with me. Finally I must have pushed the right button as it stopped and we went on our way. Well, when we picked him up, he opened the door and it went off again, only this time the car turned off and I couldn't turn it back on. Oh my, I envisioned a bad day ahead and what was I to do? Finally, I figured out which button I'd pushed the last time and we zipped off to school. This time he decided to go out the other door in order to not have the same issue. So of course it went off when he opened the other door. I didn't realize he was actually getting out because I was so embarrassed and trying to get it to turn off that I let the car keep going and he is half out of the car yelling. He let me know that I ran over his foot! Oh, dear! It was a miracle that he was ok....but I did kind of worry about his poor foot all day.
So, as I left the school parking lot I looked down and the car "low gas" light was on. However, the gas tank was just under half full, but not being familiar with the car I decided I'd better stop and get some gas. After filling it up the light stayed on for about 3 miles, halfway to work. Then it turned off, so not sure what the deal was.
The day was crazy hectic at work, but after running over my baby's foot everything else seemed to be less bothersome. Later that evening of course he let me know he told EVERYBODY about my running over his foot, but there wasn't anything wrong at all with it. Thank the Lord!
The biggest new obstacle was what to do with his swim paraphernalia that was in my car in the morning but needed to be either at home or in his sister's car for his afternoon practice. So the first day I brought it home at lunch and checked on animals.
After work I went to the moms of teens group at the church and helped get ready for Christmas decorating. There is a big decorating party on Saturday, but a lot of work was needed getting the various items in order. I was so tired that I talked to all the kids and hubby (who ended up working 10 hours on his first day!) and then fell asleep exhausted before 10:30. This is practically unheard of for me.
So, as I left the school parking lot I looked down and the car "low gas" light was on. However, the gas tank was just under half full, but not being familiar with the car I decided I'd better stop and get some gas. After filling it up the light stayed on for about 3 miles, halfway to work. Then it turned off, so not sure what the deal was.
The day was crazy hectic at work, but after running over my baby's foot everything else seemed to be less bothersome. Later that evening of course he let me know he told EVERYBODY about my running over his foot, but there wasn't anything wrong at all with it. Thank the Lord!
The biggest new obstacle was what to do with his swim paraphernalia that was in my car in the morning but needed to be either at home or in his sister's car for his afternoon practice. So the first day I brought it home at lunch and checked on animals.
After work I went to the moms of teens group at the church and helped get ready for Christmas decorating. There is a big decorating party on Saturday, but a lot of work was needed getting the various items in order. I was so tired that I talked to all the kids and hubby (who ended up working 10 hours on his first day!) and then fell asleep exhausted before 10:30. This is practically unheard of for me.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Sunday night
Oh, the end of a nice long weekend. Sunday evenings are usually low key unless I have some type of meeting at the church, but I usually have mixed feelings as I never get everything done on the weekend that I plan to do. Of course I am utterly unrealistic as I think I can get more done than humanly possible. This Thanksgiving weekend was full of possibilities on Wednesday, and now it is over.
I did accomplish some things. We had the Thanksgiving celebration and therefore got the majority of the house cleaned, then had 17 for soups for lunch today after church. So have gotten to enjoy some time with friends and having the house cleaned for both events. And the downstairs is still in good shape, except for the boxes of Christmas decorations. I was able to enjoy a movie and time with both girls, pick up a few Christmas gifts, get all caught up with laundry, have enough leftovers today for dinner tomorrow night, do a little grocery shopping, spend a little time with hubby watching a movie at home and finish crocheting a tote, put away the fall stuff and get all the Christmas decorations down from the attic, read a little bit before bed every night for pleasure, and chat with my sister several times. I did NOT finish youngest son's swim scrapbook, work at my freelance accounting job, organize our bedroom, get my warm winter clothes out, or clean any closets. There are certain things that are hard to do when you only have an hour or two. I'm bad about using those 15 minutes here and there for some things. I'm good about keeping up with laundry and picking up the main living areas, but have to have a big block of time to even start with closets and things like that.
A long week of work ahead, plus the new schedule with hubby working again. And now more is on my shoulders in the transportation department. L will take son to swim practice at 5:30 am and then head off to work soon thereafter. I will get up and take younger daughter with me to pick him up by 7:30 am with some type of breakfast in hand. I had both kids pack their lunches tonight. So I will need to be ready for work at 7:10 am. After picking him up and then depositing both kids at school I will head to work, hopefully arriving about 8:20 or so. Older daughter will be responsible to pick them up and get her brother to afternoon swim practice before L and I get home from work.
I did accomplish some things. We had the Thanksgiving celebration and therefore got the majority of the house cleaned, then had 17 for soups for lunch today after church. So have gotten to enjoy some time with friends and having the house cleaned for both events. And the downstairs is still in good shape, except for the boxes of Christmas decorations. I was able to enjoy a movie and time with both girls, pick up a few Christmas gifts, get all caught up with laundry, have enough leftovers today for dinner tomorrow night, do a little grocery shopping, spend a little time with hubby watching a movie at home and finish crocheting a tote, put away the fall stuff and get all the Christmas decorations down from the attic, read a little bit before bed every night for pleasure, and chat with my sister several times. I did NOT finish youngest son's swim scrapbook, work at my freelance accounting job, organize our bedroom, get my warm winter clothes out, or clean any closets. There are certain things that are hard to do when you only have an hour or two. I'm bad about using those 15 minutes here and there for some things. I'm good about keeping up with laundry and picking up the main living areas, but have to have a big block of time to even start with closets and things like that.
A long week of work ahead, plus the new schedule with hubby working again. And now more is on my shoulders in the transportation department. L will take son to swim practice at 5:30 am and then head off to work soon thereafter. I will get up and take younger daughter with me to pick him up by 7:30 am with some type of breakfast in hand. I had both kids pack their lunches tonight. So I will need to be ready for work at 7:10 am. After picking him up and then depositing both kids at school I will head to work, hopefully arriving about 8:20 or so. Older daughter will be responsible to pick them up and get her brother to afternoon swim practice before L and I get home from work.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!
Well, today we decided to get the Christmas stuff out. Oh my goodness, does that stuff multiply in the garage attic over the summer or what? We have been too lazy since the big boys started working so much to put up the outside lights. Seems like by the time we got them all put up, and the inside stuff all done, it was like two weeks to enjoy them before taking them all down again. So since Thanksgiving was late this year we are definitely forgoing that ordeal. Nobody wants to do it anyway.
So after picking up youngest son at 10 from swim practice he and I went to Sam's for a few items. Actually his swim practice was 7-10 am and he is NEVER one of the first ones out. He takes a very long, leisurely shower. I guess it comes from being number 5 and having to share a bathroom with 4 other siblings for his whole life... the nice hot shower at swimming must feel so nice. Well anyway, about 10:20 we headed to Sam's and I fed the starving 14 year old boy with free samples at Sam's. Actually he also had a hot dog and pretzel and gatorade, too. I was going to get laundry detergent and eggs. Well, how many people can go to Sam's and end up with only 2 things? Not me. I got a Christmas gift for somebody, 4 packages of bagels that will be gone within a couiple of days, a clearance package of chicken breasts, syrup, vanilla ice cream, and detergent and eggs.
Got home around noon and had the girls and L bring in stuff. Oh, and I had a small cooler of ice. That is one of my weird frugal things I do. There are like two big ice machines at the pool that rarely are used, so I asked one time if anybody cared if I brought home ice. Nobody minded. So now I will occasionally fill my little cooler full of ice. I love that type of ice. I got some Wednesday after swimming and I put it in a big cooler and it lasted through Thanksgiving and the next day! So now we have ice to last another day. We have an ice maker on our refrigerator but it doesn't seem to make it fast enough when everybody is home.
Then L and I decided to get the Christmas stuff down out of the garage attic. L said he wanted it ALL down at once, not a little bit at a time. So I crawled up there and handed the ones we needed to youngest son, he took it over to hubby on the stairs, and he handed it over to younger daughter. Then everyone brought the boxes into the living room. So now we are surrounded by boxes while L puts the tree together and finds working lights. I started washing a few of the Christmas dishes and towels, but it will be a project that will last longer than one day.
We have two fake trees. We are so organized that we bought a new tree, forgetting that we bought one on clearance the year before that is EXACTLY the same. One year we just threw the old artificial tree away as it was so ugly and pathetic. The reason we are into the artifical kind is that oldest daughter is allergic to the real thing. Twice when we had a real one she had big swollen eyes. Poor thing. Twice because we didn't know that was it the first time, not because we are mean. Ha ha.
Well, I had all these plans of things I was going to accomplish with 4 days off. Of course when you consider having a houseful of people one of those days, church and friends over another one of those days, and trying to deal with getting fall stuff put away and Christmas stuff out another of the days, it doesn't leave much time to accomplish too much. Especially when you are taking kids to swim practice, work, doing shopping and laundry. Oh well. There is enough time to do what God wants me to do! That is what is the most important.
We are having some friends over for lunch after church tomorrow so I'd better get a few things ready now. We're having two types of soup...chicken noodle and bean. Yummy!
So after picking up youngest son at 10 from swim practice he and I went to Sam's for a few items. Actually his swim practice was 7-10 am and he is NEVER one of the first ones out. He takes a very long, leisurely shower. I guess it comes from being number 5 and having to share a bathroom with 4 other siblings for his whole life... the nice hot shower at swimming must feel so nice. Well anyway, about 10:20 we headed to Sam's and I fed the starving 14 year old boy with free samples at Sam's. Actually he also had a hot dog and pretzel and gatorade, too. I was going to get laundry detergent and eggs. Well, how many people can go to Sam's and end up with only 2 things? Not me. I got a Christmas gift for somebody, 4 packages of bagels that will be gone within a couiple of days, a clearance package of chicken breasts, syrup, vanilla ice cream, and detergent and eggs.
Got home around noon and had the girls and L bring in stuff. Oh, and I had a small cooler of ice. That is one of my weird frugal things I do. There are like two big ice machines at the pool that rarely are used, so I asked one time if anybody cared if I brought home ice. Nobody minded. So now I will occasionally fill my little cooler full of ice. I love that type of ice. I got some Wednesday after swimming and I put it in a big cooler and it lasted through Thanksgiving and the next day! So now we have ice to last another day. We have an ice maker on our refrigerator but it doesn't seem to make it fast enough when everybody is home.
Then L and I decided to get the Christmas stuff down out of the garage attic. L said he wanted it ALL down at once, not a little bit at a time. So I crawled up there and handed the ones we needed to youngest son, he took it over to hubby on the stairs, and he handed it over to younger daughter. Then everyone brought the boxes into the living room. So now we are surrounded by boxes while L puts the tree together and finds working lights. I started washing a few of the Christmas dishes and towels, but it will be a project that will last longer than one day.
We have two fake trees. We are so organized that we bought a new tree, forgetting that we bought one on clearance the year before that is EXACTLY the same. One year we just threw the old artificial tree away as it was so ugly and pathetic. The reason we are into the artifical kind is that oldest daughter is allergic to the real thing. Twice when we had a real one she had big swollen eyes. Poor thing. Twice because we didn't know that was it the first time, not because we are mean. Ha ha.
Well, I had all these plans of things I was going to accomplish with 4 days off. Of course when you consider having a houseful of people one of those days, church and friends over another one of those days, and trying to deal with getting fall stuff put away and Christmas stuff out another of the days, it doesn't leave much time to accomplish too much. Especially when you are taking kids to swim practice, work, doing shopping and laundry. Oh well. There is enough time to do what God wants me to do! That is what is the most important.
We are having some friends over for lunch after church tomorrow so I'd better get a few things ready now. We're having two types of soup...chicken noodle and bean. Yummy!
Thanksgiving
I think Thanksgiving is definitely one of my favorite holidays. Our family tradition is to invite many people over for a big late lunch. We try to invite anyone that doesn't have anyplace to go. Since we've always had family that lives far away, we've gotten with friends from church. Back when my husband's mom was alive we would occasionally get with her and his brother's family that lives about an hour away. But now their two children are married with their own families, and they do stuff together.
Anyway, I love having my house all clean and decorated in fall-ness. This year, with L out of work, the lion's share of the work was on his lap (in theory) However, he ended up having interviews and two contract job offers, and all manner of details that needed to be taken care of earlier this week, so we ended up with a bunch of stuff to do on Wednesday and then Thursday morning. Fortunately three of the families that were coming were bringing plenty of the food, so all we were needing to take care of were the zillion homemade rolls, the traditional death by chocolate, mashed potatoes and gravy, and a salad. All 3 of the kids living at home helped a lot, and then number 2 son came over early to help out as well. Number one son's contribution was to pick up the Thanksgiving day paper so whomever wanted to tackle Black Friday could do so.
We weren't sure how many actually were going to come as we had a possibility of close to 40 at the beginning of the week, but one family of four declined, the Indian family that was invited made other plans, and another couple got invited by some family members at the last minute. But we did end up with a couple of singles that came up at the last minute, having a total of 29. But this was not all at once, as three only stayed for lunch and then had to leave, and three more came at about dessert time.
It is always so much fun to figure out how to squeeze in more tables and chairs into our modest sized home. The last couple of years I've been putting a table in the entryway to hold cups and putting a cooler of ice underneath. This seems to keep the flow going better, as we have the sofas and football watchers in the living room, along with a cardtable behind the sofa for a foursome to eat, the study with two cardtables put together for 6 to sit, and then of course the bar filled with the food and the dining table for 10 and kitchen table for 8. Now that the big boys have moved out, there is plenty of room in youngest son's bedroom for the boys to hang out and play video games. This year the college aged and beyond boys (there ended up being 8 aged 20-26) that didn't want to watch football went outside and sat and played guitars and banjos and what not. It was pretty neat. The weather was overcast and 60's so a far cry from the snow we had last Thanksgiving!
Some of us ladies played dominoes with one gal's aged mother after the kitchen was fairly clean. She enjoyed that after having a little nap on younger daughter's bed. People gradually left by about 8 pm so I got all motivated to start a load of the tablecloths and dishcloths. Then I decided to go ahead and take down all the fall stuff so we could get the Christmas decorations out later this weekend. I went to bed feeling pretty successful as the house was all cleaned and tidy.
I didn't pay attention to what all the plans were for Black Friday, but I knew I didn't feel like tackling that mess. With hubby starting a new job Monday, after being out of work for 3.5 months, there really wasn't any extra money to spend. The older boys had a posse of guys spend the night in their apartment and they got up and did all that, but not me. I planned to sleep in and get some stuff done around the house, as L was going to take daughter to work at her mall job at 6 am. and youngest son to swim practice at 8:30 am. Well, about 8 am I got a call from middle son saying he'd taken a couple to the airport and what time did I want to use their car. Oh, yeah, I forgot! A couple from our church offered for us to use their car while they are visiting relatives for a week. (Since my van transmission is out!) And then L reminded me that I was to pick up youngest son at 10 am and daughter at noon at the mall as he was going to do all his paperwork and drug tests at the new contract job. Yikes! So he dropped me off at the boys' apartment to pick up that car and I picked up son and the two of us stopped by Target (of course he was STARVING) and then I dropped him off at home before heading to the mall to pick up daughter. Oh dear, the mall was awful! I managed to pick her up, but it took 20 minutes to get out of that nightmare. I wanted to shout, "I didn't even get anything! Let me through!" but of course nobody cared about that...
So I really didn't get all that much done that I'd planned yesterday. I took the girls to the matinee movie Twilight as a treat. And I got nauseated. I think we sat too close to the front. I get motion sickness for some reason occasionally when I am at the movies. I've had a lot of sinus problems lately, so may be an inner ear issue, too. It was a good movie even though I had to close my eyes when the action was really intense so I wouldn't throw up.
I went to bed early last night and got a good night's sleep.
Anyway, I love having my house all clean and decorated in fall-ness. This year, with L out of work, the lion's share of the work was on his lap (in theory) However, he ended up having interviews and two contract job offers, and all manner of details that needed to be taken care of earlier this week, so we ended up with a bunch of stuff to do on Wednesday and then Thursday morning. Fortunately three of the families that were coming were bringing plenty of the food, so all we were needing to take care of were the zillion homemade rolls, the traditional death by chocolate, mashed potatoes and gravy, and a salad. All 3 of the kids living at home helped a lot, and then number 2 son came over early to help out as well. Number one son's contribution was to pick up the Thanksgiving day paper so whomever wanted to tackle Black Friday could do so.
We weren't sure how many actually were going to come as we had a possibility of close to 40 at the beginning of the week, but one family of four declined, the Indian family that was invited made other plans, and another couple got invited by some family members at the last minute. But we did end up with a couple of singles that came up at the last minute, having a total of 29. But this was not all at once, as three only stayed for lunch and then had to leave, and three more came at about dessert time.
It is always so much fun to figure out how to squeeze in more tables and chairs into our modest sized home. The last couple of years I've been putting a table in the entryway to hold cups and putting a cooler of ice underneath. This seems to keep the flow going better, as we have the sofas and football watchers in the living room, along with a cardtable behind the sofa for a foursome to eat, the study with two cardtables put together for 6 to sit, and then of course the bar filled with the food and the dining table for 10 and kitchen table for 8. Now that the big boys have moved out, there is plenty of room in youngest son's bedroom for the boys to hang out and play video games. This year the college aged and beyond boys (there ended up being 8 aged 20-26) that didn't want to watch football went outside and sat and played guitars and banjos and what not. It was pretty neat. The weather was overcast and 60's so a far cry from the snow we had last Thanksgiving!
Some of us ladies played dominoes with one gal's aged mother after the kitchen was fairly clean. She enjoyed that after having a little nap on younger daughter's bed. People gradually left by about 8 pm so I got all motivated to start a load of the tablecloths and dishcloths. Then I decided to go ahead and take down all the fall stuff so we could get the Christmas decorations out later this weekend. I went to bed feeling pretty successful as the house was all cleaned and tidy.
I didn't pay attention to what all the plans were for Black Friday, but I knew I didn't feel like tackling that mess. With hubby starting a new job Monday, after being out of work for 3.5 months, there really wasn't any extra money to spend. The older boys had a posse of guys spend the night in their apartment and they got up and did all that, but not me. I planned to sleep in and get some stuff done around the house, as L was going to take daughter to work at her mall job at 6 am. and youngest son to swim practice at 8:30 am. Well, about 8 am I got a call from middle son saying he'd taken a couple to the airport and what time did I want to use their car. Oh, yeah, I forgot! A couple from our church offered for us to use their car while they are visiting relatives for a week. (Since my van transmission is out!) And then L reminded me that I was to pick up youngest son at 10 am and daughter at noon at the mall as he was going to do all his paperwork and drug tests at the new contract job. Yikes! So he dropped me off at the boys' apartment to pick up that car and I picked up son and the two of us stopped by Target (of course he was STARVING) and then I dropped him off at home before heading to the mall to pick up daughter. Oh dear, the mall was awful! I managed to pick her up, but it took 20 minutes to get out of that nightmare. I wanted to shout, "I didn't even get anything! Let me through!" but of course nobody cared about that...
So I really didn't get all that much done that I'd planned yesterday. I took the girls to the matinee movie Twilight as a treat. And I got nauseated. I think we sat too close to the front. I get motion sickness for some reason occasionally when I am at the movies. I've had a lot of sinus problems lately, so may be an inner ear issue, too. It was a good movie even though I had to close my eyes when the action was really intense so I wouldn't throw up.
I went to bed early last night and got a good night's sleep.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Day of Surprises
I wasn't in the mood to write last weekend as it was ONE OF THOSE TIMES. With working fulltime I usually plan to save time to be at home either Sunday afternoon or Saturday. There was a wedding shower Friday night, a wedding Saturday, church stuff from 8-1 and 2-8:30 on Sunday. So I decided to forgo the wedding as I was hosting Thanksgiving with upwards of 30 people and a house that really needed some cleaning and a ton of laundry to be done.
Well, I did get to sleep in on Saturday, and spent most of the morning very productive, but the day went downhill after that. For some reason I was really dealing with some mild depression. I am not really prone to depression unless there is a good reason. Well, with hubby out of work since August, and the van that I drive needing a new transmission.... I guess it sort of got to me. Anyway, I made blueberry pancakes for everybody and did a couple of loads of laundry, and started doing some picking up. I got interrupted and all of a sudden the washer would not work. It flashed some code saying that the electric system wasn't communicating or some such nonsense. This happened after I'd cleaned out the little place where you put detergent. So after hubby and I both tried figuring out what the problem was, went on the internet and looked up the code, etc. we gave up. Fortunately I'd done my own laundry first, so I was safe for another week!
Anyway, then there was a conflict with both daughters about not responding when I texted them. They both went to the wedding, representing our family with their older brother, and I wanted to know about what time to expect them home. Well, older daughter got all bent out of shape that we were annoyed that neither one responded, when both girls are constantly on their cell phones texting when we are trying to talk to them half the time. So when L took her to work she wouldn't talk to him. She is so annoying in this manner of not communicating when she is upset. Drives both L and I nuts. Anyway, then while he was gone, younger daughter and I had a bit of a conflict as well. Thank goodness she eventually would talk to me. We spent an hour or so crying together and talking it over. I can hardly remember what it was even about, but for some reason I was just exhausted emotionally. So then I ended up crying and venting with my sweet husband about everything that was not right in my life. He is so patient and kind and has learned (over nearly 25 years!) to just let me talk and vent and whatnot and eventually it will all work out. Fortunately the way God has put me together, I get over things pretty quickly. And after dealing with older daughter, my husband told me that he was SO glad that I was a vent-er instead of a close up-er. Well, by the end of that long day all was well, but the washer was still not working, and I still hadn't gotten any of the house cleaned for Thanksgiving....
Well, fast forward to today. Had a great time last night...my boss offered for me to use his car after work and then just bring it back in time for work, so I took him up on it last night as I had to pick up a prescription and decided to see if the girls wanted to go to the mall. Younger daughter had to get a birthday present, so we all 3 had a fun time joking and laughing. She ended up getting a present, and I ended up buying her a pair of jeans that she sorely needed for 50% off, and older daughter a couple of shirts to wear to work. I complain about how emotionally exhausting my teenage daughters are, but then they can be so much fun, too. I can't imagine having that much fun shopping with my boys....
So today I worked through lunch and had older daughter pick me up after her last college class about 2:45. Came home and did some cleaning and getting Thanksgiving-ready. Husband got two job contract offers and took the better one today, so our life will change dramatically on Monday. I've been spoiled with him home since mid-August, even if we have totally run out of money. He's been doing the transportation for the younger 2 as well as the cooking and random errands. I will now have to get back into the groove on that. Yuck. And now with the van out of commission, not sure what to do with only 2 cars, two pathetic cars at that...
Another miracle, though! I went into the laundry room and gave the washer a dirty look. Then I said a prayer and decided to try to do a load of laundry and IT WORKED!!! Maybe it needed a rest. Our washer sure gets a workout. My 2nd son does his laundry now at his apartment complex as it is more convenient for him, but with 6 of us, plus a kid that swims twice a day with loads of towels, it gets used a lot.
Then my boss came in last night and told me to get an estimate on getting my van fixed. He said he has a plan. I said, OK, but probably won't be until at least Friday due to the holidays. Then today he came in my office and repeated it. So I agreed.
I've stopped trying to figure out life. It is a one day at a time type of deal for me anymore. I never know what to expect. Sometimes I feel so unworthy as I am so imperfect. I've been really working on resting in Jesus and not my own strength, yet being a diligent worker.
Well, I did get to sleep in on Saturday, and spent most of the morning very productive, but the day went downhill after that. For some reason I was really dealing with some mild depression. I am not really prone to depression unless there is a good reason. Well, with hubby out of work since August, and the van that I drive needing a new transmission.... I guess it sort of got to me. Anyway, I made blueberry pancakes for everybody and did a couple of loads of laundry, and started doing some picking up. I got interrupted and all of a sudden the washer would not work. It flashed some code saying that the electric system wasn't communicating or some such nonsense. This happened after I'd cleaned out the little place where you put detergent. So after hubby and I both tried figuring out what the problem was, went on the internet and looked up the code, etc. we gave up. Fortunately I'd done my own laundry first, so I was safe for another week!
Anyway, then there was a conflict with both daughters about not responding when I texted them. They both went to the wedding, representing our family with their older brother, and I wanted to know about what time to expect them home. Well, older daughter got all bent out of shape that we were annoyed that neither one responded, when both girls are constantly on their cell phones texting when we are trying to talk to them half the time. So when L took her to work she wouldn't talk to him. She is so annoying in this manner of not communicating when she is upset. Drives both L and I nuts. Anyway, then while he was gone, younger daughter and I had a bit of a conflict as well. Thank goodness she eventually would talk to me. We spent an hour or so crying together and talking it over. I can hardly remember what it was even about, but for some reason I was just exhausted emotionally. So then I ended up crying and venting with my sweet husband about everything that was not right in my life. He is so patient and kind and has learned (over nearly 25 years!) to just let me talk and vent and whatnot and eventually it will all work out. Fortunately the way God has put me together, I get over things pretty quickly. And after dealing with older daughter, my husband told me that he was SO glad that I was a vent-er instead of a close up-er. Well, by the end of that long day all was well, but the washer was still not working, and I still hadn't gotten any of the house cleaned for Thanksgiving....
Well, fast forward to today. Had a great time last night...my boss offered for me to use his car after work and then just bring it back in time for work, so I took him up on it last night as I had to pick up a prescription and decided to see if the girls wanted to go to the mall. Younger daughter had to get a birthday present, so we all 3 had a fun time joking and laughing. She ended up getting a present, and I ended up buying her a pair of jeans that she sorely needed for 50% off, and older daughter a couple of shirts to wear to work. I complain about how emotionally exhausting my teenage daughters are, but then they can be so much fun, too. I can't imagine having that much fun shopping with my boys....
So today I worked through lunch and had older daughter pick me up after her last college class about 2:45. Came home and did some cleaning and getting Thanksgiving-ready. Husband got two job contract offers and took the better one today, so our life will change dramatically on Monday. I've been spoiled with him home since mid-August, even if we have totally run out of money. He's been doing the transportation for the younger 2 as well as the cooking and random errands. I will now have to get back into the groove on that. Yuck. And now with the van out of commission, not sure what to do with only 2 cars, two pathetic cars at that...
Another miracle, though! I went into the laundry room and gave the washer a dirty look. Then I said a prayer and decided to try to do a load of laundry and IT WORKED!!! Maybe it needed a rest. Our washer sure gets a workout. My 2nd son does his laundry now at his apartment complex as it is more convenient for him, but with 6 of us, plus a kid that swims twice a day with loads of towels, it gets used a lot.
Then my boss came in last night and told me to get an estimate on getting my van fixed. He said he has a plan. I said, OK, but probably won't be until at least Friday due to the holidays. Then today he came in my office and repeated it. So I agreed.
I've stopped trying to figure out life. It is a one day at a time type of deal for me anymore. I never know what to expect. Sometimes I feel so unworthy as I am so imperfect. I've been really working on resting in Jesus and not my own strength, yet being a diligent worker.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Random thoughts
I was reading a few blogs today and one just made me kind of feel bad. I am probably just sensitive about this, but I felt like I had to defend myself in my own mind. I do that a lot. Something bothers me and then I argue it back and forth in my head. Anyway, the topic is unimportant for now. I understand where she was coming from, yet it is so easy to make big stands on things that do not allow for people's circumstances. I think it is important to have convictions, yet God works in such different ways in people's lives. I was a stay at home mom, I've homeschooled, I've worked part time, I've worked full time. Yet through all this I've loved my children the same. I was more opinionated when I had small children and definitely more idealistic. God has used the difficulties in my life to give me more compassion and mercy and less unbending judgement.
When my husband was laid off in 2001 we knew God would provide. We still know that God provides. He has. Yet not in the way that we would really like. I never wanted to work fulltime with kids living at home. I did enjoy working part time. So now I'm working fulltime and have gotten used to it. And there have been huge benefits with my husband being the one at home most of the time. The kids have benefited greatly having this time with their father. He started a lawn mowing business with the older boys and one of their friends, which taught them how to work. Invaluable experience. Maybe they needed their dad more than mom during their teenage years. He's done a good job. And I am truly grateful for my accounting position. I am able to leave if I need to whenever the kids need me for anything. I can go in early when my son has swimming in the morning in the summer and I can leave early. I really can't complain. One of us needs to carry insurance for our family. Right now that is me. Next year it may be my husband. Maybe there will be a cure for diabetes soon. Maybe not. I have to live in the realities of today.
When my husband was laid off in 2001 we knew God would provide. We still know that God provides. He has. Yet not in the way that we would really like. I never wanted to work fulltime with kids living at home. I did enjoy working part time. So now I'm working fulltime and have gotten used to it. And there have been huge benefits with my husband being the one at home most of the time. The kids have benefited greatly having this time with their father. He started a lawn mowing business with the older boys and one of their friends, which taught them how to work. Invaluable experience. Maybe they needed their dad more than mom during their teenage years. He's done a good job. And I am truly grateful for my accounting position. I am able to leave if I need to whenever the kids need me for anything. I can go in early when my son has swimming in the morning in the summer and I can leave early. I really can't complain. One of us needs to carry insurance for our family. Right now that is me. Next year it may be my husband. Maybe there will be a cure for diabetes soon. Maybe not. I have to live in the realities of today.
Texting & Staying relevant
OK, I will admit it. I would rather go to Best Buy than the mall. I love gadgets. Forget nice clothes, expensive home decor and vacations -- bring on the cool technology. Was the first of my friends to get a video camera back in the mid 80's, first to have a digital camera & cell phone, and first to learn how to text. Well, ok, older daughter had to teach me how, but still.
Anyway, turns out this has been the most effective way of keeping up with my teenagers. ( I call my 22 and 21 year old sons teenagers because they are in college--even though they are living on their own. Gotta stop that, though, they are paying their own bills!) I used to call oldest son and never would get an answer. He never bothered to set up voice mail, so it was rather frustrating. He is not what you'd call a big communicator. At any rate, now that I text him, it is wonderful. He texted me this morning asking how my day was going, etc. When I text him he will usually respond within a day or so. I can text all my kids (and hubby!) how much I love them and they will get the message without having to say anything in return. I love that. I want to show them unconditional love and acceptance. I can text my out of state sister at times that are inconvenient for both of us to talk. I can gently remind different family members about appointments and things they need to know without being a nag. Well, I can't get too carried away or it does become nagging, so I need to watch that.
My middle son texted me last night while I was doing some shopping. We had a nice conversation and found out more about what his week had been like. My older sons now will just send me texts that say, "Love you, mom!" Warms my heart as much as a phone call.
I've talked to moms my age that really don't want to learn texting or have it or what not. I can understand why, as it is rather impersonal, but I really want to stay relevant in this changing world of ours. I don't want to compromise my beliefs or things like that in our post-modern world, but I can learn new things. I want to be one of those old ladies that never stops learning. NEVER. When I was a child I loved learning new things. I would read encyclopedias, for goodness sake. To this day if I am interested in a topic I will get every book I can on the subject and then google it on the internet and find out more.
Anyway, turns out this has been the most effective way of keeping up with my teenagers. ( I call my 22 and 21 year old sons teenagers because they are in college--even though they are living on their own. Gotta stop that, though, they are paying their own bills!) I used to call oldest son and never would get an answer. He never bothered to set up voice mail, so it was rather frustrating. He is not what you'd call a big communicator. At any rate, now that I text him, it is wonderful. He texted me this morning asking how my day was going, etc. When I text him he will usually respond within a day or so. I can text all my kids (and hubby!) how much I love them and they will get the message without having to say anything in return. I love that. I want to show them unconditional love and acceptance. I can text my out of state sister at times that are inconvenient for both of us to talk. I can gently remind different family members about appointments and things they need to know without being a nag. Well, I can't get too carried away or it does become nagging, so I need to watch that.
My middle son texted me last night while I was doing some shopping. We had a nice conversation and found out more about what his week had been like. My older sons now will just send me texts that say, "Love you, mom!" Warms my heart as much as a phone call.
I've talked to moms my age that really don't want to learn texting or have it or what not. I can understand why, as it is rather impersonal, but I really want to stay relevant in this changing world of ours. I don't want to compromise my beliefs or things like that in our post-modern world, but I can learn new things. I want to be one of those old ladies that never stops learning. NEVER. When I was a child I loved learning new things. I would read encyclopedias, for goodness sake. To this day if I am interested in a topic I will get every book I can on the subject and then google it on the internet and find out more.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Monday nights
I just got home from my women's group at church. I co-lead a group of moms of teenagers in our church with an old friend. Her kids are 25, 23, 20, and 16 (all boys except the 23 year old) and teaches school 2 days a week. We meet every Monday night for 1.5-2 hours and do some book/Bible study every other week, do a service project once a month, and a fun night once a month. Tonight was the service project and we were making goodies for each of the junior high/high school leaders at church. We had so many ideas of ways we could do stuff for others, that we couldn't possibly do them all, so will have to take one at a time. We are trying to include newer folks as we have so much fun.
I am an includer. I think everybody should be part of my activities or at least feel welcome to come. I don't think anybody should have to be alone, but I realize some people just don't like to belong to stuff. I can understand it as it is really hard to get out of my house after working all day. Yet it is always so much fun going. Even when my teens were little, I enjoyed getting out once a week without them. I think it is important for them to know that I have a life outside of just them. Of course I really have to suffer for it sometimes as I end up helping with homework or talking to them when I get home and end up staying up later than intended. What is it about teenagers that they come alive about 11 pm -- the time I am trying to get to bed? I want to be available no matter how late when they want to talk to me. My older sons moved out into an apartment last December with a couple of other nice college boys. I am so happy that even though my 22 year old and 21 year old sons are so very different, they still want to live together. And my other 3 are always going over to their apartment to go in their hot tub or pool or play Wii with them. I truly am blessed. We may be super poor money wise but we are rich in so many other ways. Thank you, Lord!
I am an includer. I think everybody should be part of my activities or at least feel welcome to come. I don't think anybody should have to be alone, but I realize some people just don't like to belong to stuff. I can understand it as it is really hard to get out of my house after working all day. Yet it is always so much fun going. Even when my teens were little, I enjoyed getting out once a week without them. I think it is important for them to know that I have a life outside of just them. Of course I really have to suffer for it sometimes as I end up helping with homework or talking to them when I get home and end up staying up later than intended. What is it about teenagers that they come alive about 11 pm -- the time I am trying to get to bed? I want to be available no matter how late when they want to talk to me. My older sons moved out into an apartment last December with a couple of other nice college boys. I am so happy that even though my 22 year old and 21 year old sons are so very different, they still want to live together. And my other 3 are always going over to their apartment to go in their hot tub or pool or play Wii with them. I truly am blessed. We may be super poor money wise but we are rich in so many other ways. Thank you, Lord!
Home Sick
I stayed home today from work. I felt yucky yesterday after church and I very rarely stay home from work for sickness, but not only was I kind of achy and tired, but had a headache. My 14 year old son was home, too, with pink eye. He woke up Sunday morning with a pink eye and we didn't know if it was allergies or what as he has lots of those, but we thought it was probably pink eye. Called the doctor or actually the nurse and they called in a prescription. So he wasn't sick and rather restless today. Not the most restful stay at home kind of day. College daughter went to get her license replaced as her billfold was stolen. I've been telling her for ages that she can't leave her wallet in the front seat of the car with the door unlocked, but maybe now she will pay attention. Just maybe. She told me it would NEVER happen to her. Of course it did. The young feel so indestructible. Sigh.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Job
Well, older daughter got home and told me about her first day on the job. She is working at a clothing store for the holidays with the idea that if it works out she can be one of the ones that stays on for the spring. She said it was kind of fun and she enjoys the people she works with. So that makes me happy.
OK I am a mom that has always been a no-nonsense sort. Doesn't have trouble with consistent discipline. Expects kids to do their jobs without complaining. Makes sure they are taking care of their responsibilities. Doesn't let their whining, begging, etc. to change my mind. Well, since the past year or so I have really gotten softer. More gentle I guess. I was used to the way boys are. My older two boys and I have gotten along with so well. Just a matter of fact sort of way. Not super emotional. Same with my 14 year old son. Moments of trials and frustrations, but doesn't last. Well, here I am now with two daughters that are so doggone emotional. I cringe when older daughter comes home in case she's in a bad mood or something. Now the 16 year old daughter has been up and down with her emotions. And I don't know if this is normal or not. They don't think it is normal but I don't really know. I can't tell if it they just feel more free to be emotional with me than I felt with my parents or not. I want them to be free to be themselves. I've never tried to make any of them anything different than what they are. Not that I didn't really secretly hope they'd do great things, but let's face it-- most kids are not going to do anything way out there super important. And the things I consider important are the things God values anyway. I want my kids to think about others, love God with their whole heart, treat people with respect, be secure in who they are in Jesus, that sort of thing. I really want my kids to be more helpful around the house than they are, but...
Well, I haven't felt all that well today so after church (3 services doing various things) I came home and have been rather lazy. I went a little nutty doing housework and stuff yesterday so needed some down time before another long week. I may have to take a day business trip to Houston this week.
OK I am a mom that has always been a no-nonsense sort. Doesn't have trouble with consistent discipline. Expects kids to do their jobs without complaining. Makes sure they are taking care of their responsibilities. Doesn't let their whining, begging, etc. to change my mind. Well, since the past year or so I have really gotten softer. More gentle I guess. I was used to the way boys are. My older two boys and I have gotten along with so well. Just a matter of fact sort of way. Not super emotional. Same with my 14 year old son. Moments of trials and frustrations, but doesn't last. Well, here I am now with two daughters that are so doggone emotional. I cringe when older daughter comes home in case she's in a bad mood or something. Now the 16 year old daughter has been up and down with her emotions. And I don't know if this is normal or not. They don't think it is normal but I don't really know. I can't tell if it they just feel more free to be emotional with me than I felt with my parents or not. I want them to be free to be themselves. I've never tried to make any of them anything different than what they are. Not that I didn't really secretly hope they'd do great things, but let's face it-- most kids are not going to do anything way out there super important. And the things I consider important are the things God values anyway. I want my kids to think about others, love God with their whole heart, treat people with respect, be secure in who they are in Jesus, that sort of thing. I really want my kids to be more helpful around the house than they are, but...
Well, I haven't felt all that well today so after church (3 services doing various things) I came home and have been rather lazy. I went a little nutty doing housework and stuff yesterday so needed some down time before another long week. I may have to take a day business trip to Houston this week.
My bad
Well, I guess over a month has passed since I decided to start a blog. Hmm. I got cold feet to be honest. I love to write, love to read, and love to talk and listen to people tell about life. But the thought of somebody I actually know reading my words for some reason is scary to me. I am not sure what I am afraid of, however, as I make it a point to be an open book in my relationships. I guess it is the permanency of the written word out here in cyberspace that is scary.
Oh well, enough of all that.... my oldest daughter started a new job today. She has not worked since a year ago summer at the water park. She graduated in May from high school and had a very rough summer. We encouraged her to volunteer, get a job, do something. She is struggling with a zillion things right now. Actually she's had over a year of pretty serious depression issues. She was diagnosed with Type I diabetes when she just turned 4. I was 8 months pregnant with our 5th child. My husband and I both learned how to care for her, and everything went rather smoothly for many years. I was a stay at home mom, homeschooling, and her life was contained. She was active in soccer and swimming, then just swimming and had lots of friends and was quite popular. She had trouble learning to read, and school didn't come easily to her, but I just figured she was different. She accepted her diabetes and even bragged to friends how brave she was dealing with shots all the time. We gradually gave her more and more responsibility for her diabetes care as she entered her teen years. When she was 11 her dad lost his job. I had started working a few hours a week doing accounting at our church, but after he was without a job for several months, the opportunity arose for me to work another part time job. Dad was the fulltime caretaker at this point, and gave her more responsibility for her diabetes care. Her father and I were taking turns with homeschooling as well. After 2 years of this, she and her 2 younger siblings started going to a private Christian school. Neither L nor I wanted life to be this way, I liked working a little, but not fulltime, but he couldn't seem to get a fulltime job. We were on COBRA, spending his retirement, until that ran out, then the state sponsored healthcare kicked in for the children. At that point L and I were without insurance, but didn't have any options. If we made more money, we wouldn't have any health insurance for older daughter, but we couldn't pay our bills without earning more. At this point I got a random call from a friend of a friend that needed an accountant for a new business. Full time position with benefits. Well, L and I prayed about it and it seemed like the right thing to do, even though I really never ever wanted to work fulltime with my kids still at home, but you do what you have to do. At any rate, I worked fulltime AND kept the 12 hour/week church accounting job for 10 long months. At that point L did most of the parenting and I was like the weekend "dad". When this started the oldest son was finishing up his first year of college, 2nd son was fnishing up his junior year of high school, older daughter was ending 9th grade, younger daughter 7th grade, and youngest son 4th grade. During this time, L was constantly looking for a job, doing some short term part time gigs, and we were playing tag team on cooking and cleaning, with him doing the lion's share.
OK, I started all this to talk about my older daughter and it's turned into my last 7 years' history. How did that happen? Oh, yeah, well, somehow in all that confusion of working and what not, the diabetes care wasn't as good as it should be. I thought L was dealing with it more, and L thought older daughter was taking care of it, and all along she was rather in denial and pretending that she was only partly diabetic...like only had to think about it once in awhile. The diabetes appointments were very discouraging, they sent mixed messages...she needs to take care of herself, yet somehow mom and dad are supposed to make sure she does. Well, when you have a headstrong stubborn 15, 16, and then 17 year old daughter, that is easier said than done. So anyway, last fall it all came to a head and she started dealing with serious depression and after countless appointments and what not, we got her to see a counselor, and then she was put on some anti-depressants. It took several months of various things, and she barely was able to graduate due to losing so many days of school. It was a vicious cycle as she would be depressed and not take care of her diabetes, and then because that made her sick it would make her more depressed, and her body was just all out of whack. The whole thing really was awfully hard for the whole family. Her behaviour was not good, she made some really bad choices, and sneakiness, lying, etc. was not fun. So this past summer we took her to a psychiatrist and he diagnosed her with ADHD. Well, I always knew she was easily distracted, but she's never been hyper. Shows how much I know about that stuff. So now she's on all her diabetes insulins, ADD medicine, anti-depressants, and has to have this 7 day pill box like a grandma. It's weird how it works. I mean she remembers things that she wants to, which kind of makes me mad sometimes. That is why I never really wanted to label her. Like she had a babysitting job last year and NEVER was late or anything. Always remembered it. She never was late or forgot to go to her water park lifeguard job the summer before last. Things like doctor appointments...never forgets. But checking her blood sugar that she's been doing several times a day for the past 14 years? Oops, I forgot. Doesn't that sounds suspicious to you? It does to me. The other thing that is interesting about her....she is such a charmer. She can be the most fun and interesting person one minute and then totally space people off the next. She's terrible with remembering to return things to people or get them a birthday gift or card or whatnot. She loves being around people, though. Oh, and she is so responsible about other things, too. She is the one I'd always ask to find something for me. I'd call home and ask a kid to find a can of chili out in the garage shelves. Well, I'd say it is probably on the 4th shelf. Well, if I'd ask any of the other 4 children that and it is was on the 5th shelf let's say, or if it was behind something on the 4th shelf...they could never find it. But when she would say it wasn't there, it definitely wasn't.
So anyway they recommended this book "Driven to Distraction" or something like that and after reading it I realized that it described her in so many ways. I have never believed in using excuses for bad behavior, but in her case I felt like God wanted me to be totally merciful. So all summer long we (we as in husband L and I) tag teamed the diabetes management and pill taking endeavor. I'd check her blood sugar in the mornings before work, and he'd check it at night before bedtime. At supper we'd make sure she took her many pills. We let her be a total bum all summer long and she finally signed up for the local college classes in the fall. So she's been going to class all fall and NOW SHE FINALLY HAS A JOB!!!
Oh well, enough of all that.... my oldest daughter started a new job today. She has not worked since a year ago summer at the water park. She graduated in May from high school and had a very rough summer. We encouraged her to volunteer, get a job, do something. She is struggling with a zillion things right now. Actually she's had over a year of pretty serious depression issues. She was diagnosed with Type I diabetes when she just turned 4. I was 8 months pregnant with our 5th child. My husband and I both learned how to care for her, and everything went rather smoothly for many years. I was a stay at home mom, homeschooling, and her life was contained. She was active in soccer and swimming, then just swimming and had lots of friends and was quite popular. She had trouble learning to read, and school didn't come easily to her, but I just figured she was different. She accepted her diabetes and even bragged to friends how brave she was dealing with shots all the time. We gradually gave her more and more responsibility for her diabetes care as she entered her teen years. When she was 11 her dad lost his job. I had started working a few hours a week doing accounting at our church, but after he was without a job for several months, the opportunity arose for me to work another part time job. Dad was the fulltime caretaker at this point, and gave her more responsibility for her diabetes care. Her father and I were taking turns with homeschooling as well. After 2 years of this, she and her 2 younger siblings started going to a private Christian school. Neither L nor I wanted life to be this way, I liked working a little, but not fulltime, but he couldn't seem to get a fulltime job. We were on COBRA, spending his retirement, until that ran out, then the state sponsored healthcare kicked in for the children. At that point L and I were without insurance, but didn't have any options. If we made more money, we wouldn't have any health insurance for older daughter, but we couldn't pay our bills without earning more. At this point I got a random call from a friend of a friend that needed an accountant for a new business. Full time position with benefits. Well, L and I prayed about it and it seemed like the right thing to do, even though I really never ever wanted to work fulltime with my kids still at home, but you do what you have to do. At any rate, I worked fulltime AND kept the 12 hour/week church accounting job for 10 long months. At that point L did most of the parenting and I was like the weekend "dad". When this started the oldest son was finishing up his first year of college, 2nd son was fnishing up his junior year of high school, older daughter was ending 9th grade, younger daughter 7th grade, and youngest son 4th grade. During this time, L was constantly looking for a job, doing some short term part time gigs, and we were playing tag team on cooking and cleaning, with him doing the lion's share.
OK, I started all this to talk about my older daughter and it's turned into my last 7 years' history. How did that happen? Oh, yeah, well, somehow in all that confusion of working and what not, the diabetes care wasn't as good as it should be. I thought L was dealing with it more, and L thought older daughter was taking care of it, and all along she was rather in denial and pretending that she was only partly diabetic...like only had to think about it once in awhile. The diabetes appointments were very discouraging, they sent mixed messages...she needs to take care of herself, yet somehow mom and dad are supposed to make sure she does. Well, when you have a headstrong stubborn 15, 16, and then 17 year old daughter, that is easier said than done. So anyway, last fall it all came to a head and she started dealing with serious depression and after countless appointments and what not, we got her to see a counselor, and then she was put on some anti-depressants. It took several months of various things, and she barely was able to graduate due to losing so many days of school. It was a vicious cycle as she would be depressed and not take care of her diabetes, and then because that made her sick it would make her more depressed, and her body was just all out of whack. The whole thing really was awfully hard for the whole family. Her behaviour was not good, she made some really bad choices, and sneakiness, lying, etc. was not fun. So this past summer we took her to a psychiatrist and he diagnosed her with ADHD. Well, I always knew she was easily distracted, but she's never been hyper. Shows how much I know about that stuff. So now she's on all her diabetes insulins, ADD medicine, anti-depressants, and has to have this 7 day pill box like a grandma. It's weird how it works. I mean she remembers things that she wants to, which kind of makes me mad sometimes. That is why I never really wanted to label her. Like she had a babysitting job last year and NEVER was late or anything. Always remembered it. She never was late or forgot to go to her water park lifeguard job the summer before last. Things like doctor appointments...never forgets. But checking her blood sugar that she's been doing several times a day for the past 14 years? Oops, I forgot. Doesn't that sounds suspicious to you? It does to me. The other thing that is interesting about her....she is such a charmer. She can be the most fun and interesting person one minute and then totally space people off the next. She's terrible with remembering to return things to people or get them a birthday gift or card or whatnot. She loves being around people, though. Oh, and she is so responsible about other things, too. She is the one I'd always ask to find something for me. I'd call home and ask a kid to find a can of chili out in the garage shelves. Well, I'd say it is probably on the 4th shelf. Well, if I'd ask any of the other 4 children that and it is was on the 5th shelf let's say, or if it was behind something on the 4th shelf...they could never find it. But when she would say it wasn't there, it definitely wasn't.
So anyway they recommended this book "Driven to Distraction" or something like that and after reading it I realized that it described her in so many ways. I have never believed in using excuses for bad behavior, but in her case I felt like God wanted me to be totally merciful. So all summer long we (we as in husband L and I) tag teamed the diabetes management and pill taking endeavor. I'd check her blood sugar in the mornings before work, and he'd check it at night before bedtime. At supper we'd make sure she took her many pills. We let her be a total bum all summer long and she finally signed up for the local college classes in the fall. So she's been going to class all fall and NOW SHE FINALLY HAS A JOB!!!
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Starting a Blog
OK, this is really scary. I have always loved writing, reading, anything with words. I started keeping a diary in 1st grade. I read the book Harriet the Spy and turned my diary into a notebook that I kept since I was 16. I still have the huge stack of notebooks and when my older daughter turned 15 or so, I pulled them out and read them. Good grief! I belonged in a psych ward! I can't believe how much of a basketcase I was then! My emotions were unbridled. I was depressed ALL the time. Somehow I just don't remember feeling all that horrible about my teenage years....and then it hit me. I only wrote about the bad times, the sad times, but in the good times, I shared those with others in person. So it was skewed. Anyway, fast forward to 2008. I am on facebook and read what one of my teenagers wrote on her status. Good grief! She belongs in a psych ward! What a basketcase! What kind of a mother am I? I didn't have a clue that she felt this way! Oh dear.....oh wait! It's just like my writing in my notebook back in the 70's. Only that was private. This is really really public. Hmmm.
Am I going to regret writing things so others can read them? Should I stay anonymous? Does anybody else feel kind of fearful about this like I do?
Am I going to regret writing things so others can read them? Should I stay anonymous? Does anybody else feel kind of fearful about this like I do?
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Youngest son
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