Hope

So, hubby called on Thursday to find out about the other contract job and good news! It was still open, but they were interviewing some people. However, he was still the best candidate. So on Thursday and Friday he dealt with them to try to finalize everything. He was able to get a new tire for the car we borrowed and get the car back to them as they flew in Thursday afternoon.

I know I am spoiled when he is home. There is less stress for me around the home when I know he is there taking care of things. But I just don't make enough for us to live on with the situation we are in right now. Had we not had several years of waiting for him to get a job, putting us in a bad situation, or if we didn't have a daughter whose medication is so expensive, or if my employers paid more of my health insurance, we would be able to make it. We are not extravagant people. We try to live fairly simply. But after several years of not much income things have broken down and we owe money places. I hate this. I grew up debt free and would have preferred my life to stay that way. However, it has not worked out MY way. And I am living with that.

Well, I was just dealing with the emotions of Wednesday night when I got a text from my older daughter. She started out wanting to tell me something negative. So I texted back saying I was busy at work and please do not tell me anything bad right now. But then she did anyway. I guess she got the other side of her lip pierced by a classmate. This was not something I wanted to hear about then. I really started having trouble dealing with my emotions at that point and couldn't concentrate on my work. I know it is not the end of the world, but when is this going to stop? Being diabetic makes it more complicated. She doesn't need to have all that done to her body right now. So I was mad. And when I am mad at her it is best for me to calm down before talking or dealing with her. So I did. I prayed for self control. I wanted to tell her all manner of awful things. But I didn't. I ignored her texts. Finally after she kept wanting to know if I was mad, I said I had work to do and would be working late. Period. No discussion about it. She knows how I feel. Her dad was able to talk with her about it. Both of us are unhappy. I did learn a lot about holding my tongue. So THAT is a good thing.

But I was rather annoyed that she was so selfish that she had to do this when she KNEW we were all really having a hard time. And that is the hard part. She is so incredibly self absorbed.
I think both her dad and I try to set an example of putting aside our own things when anyone else is having problems. Not perfectly, but we're trying. I think as a mom I've had to learn that teenagers are not usually intentionally trying to make your life miserable, they just are so self centered they don't even think. And that is painful sometimes. Sigh.

So now it is Monday and hopefully he will start this contract job this week. It's hard to go through Christmastime with his not working.