Random thoughts

I was reading a few blogs today and one just made me kind of feel bad. I am probably just sensitive about this, but I felt like I had to defend myself in my own mind. I do that a lot. Something bothers me and then I argue it back and forth in my head. Anyway, the topic is unimportant for now. I understand where she was coming from, yet it is so easy to make big stands on things that do not allow for people's circumstances. I think it is important to have convictions, yet God works in such different ways in people's lives. I was a stay at home mom, I've homeschooled, I've worked part time, I've worked full time. Yet through all this I've loved my children the same. I was more opinionated when I had small children and definitely more idealistic. God has used the difficulties in my life to give me more compassion and mercy and less unbending judgement.

When my husband was laid off in 2001 we knew God would provide. We still know that God provides. He has. Yet not in the way that we would really like. I never wanted to work fulltime with kids living at home. I did enjoy working part time. So now I'm working fulltime and have gotten used to it. And there have been huge benefits with my husband being the one at home most of the time. The kids have benefited greatly having this time with their father. He started a lawn mowing business with the older boys and one of their friends, which taught them how to work. Invaluable experience. Maybe they needed their dad more than mom during their teenage years. He's done a good job. And I am truly grateful for my accounting position. I am able to leave if I need to whenever the kids need me for anything. I can go in early when my son has swimming in the morning in the summer and I can leave early. I really can't complain. One of us needs to carry insurance for our family. Right now that is me. Next year it may be my husband. Maybe there will be a cure for diabetes soon. Maybe not. I have to live in the realities of today.