Rainy Days and Mondays

Back to work after the holidays. Accountants need their holidays as Januarys are usually pretty hectic trying to work on year end stuff. I had a meeting from 9 to 11:15, 12:30 to 3, and 4-5, so I didn't get much done other than that. I wish there were two of me some days. I am always torn between doing a good job at my job and taking care of things at home. Right now I spend more time trying to relate to the kids in my spare time than take care of the house, so it takes a long weekend in order to feel like I can get halfway caught up.

Yet I feel more responsible or important after getting my raise. Like they value me more, so I want to be careful to work harder and smarter and make them glad that they gave me a raise. Part of me feels like I deserve it and another part of me feels undeserving. I think there is a part of me that is insecure and feels like I really don't deserve anything good because I know how imperfect I am.

And I was fighting some mild depression all day. I guess the cloudy, rainy, chilly weather and being Monday and facing a long week with lots of work was part of it, yet I really couldn't pinpoint any reason to be depressed, so I was able to shake it off. Just had a feeling of dread. Those thoughts come in occasionally and sneak up on me, and I have to stay on my toes not to let it suck me in.

Well, youngest son needs help with his Algebra, so better help him out!