Oh, the end of a nice long weekend. Sunday evenings are usually low key unless I have some type of meeting at the church, but I usually have mixed feelings as I never get everything done on the weekend that I plan to do. Of course I am utterly unrealistic as I think I can get more done than humanly possible. This Thanksgiving weekend was full of possibilities on Wednesday, and now it is over.
I did accomplish some things. We had the Thanksgiving celebration and therefore got the majority of the house cleaned, then had 17 for soups for lunch today after church. So have gotten to enjoy some time with friends and having the house cleaned for both events. And the downstairs is still in good shape, except for the boxes of Christmas decorations. I was able to enjoy a movie and time with both girls, pick up a few Christmas gifts, get all caught up with laundry, have enough leftovers today for dinner tomorrow night, do a little grocery shopping, spend a little time with hubby watching a movie at home and finish crocheting a tote, put away the fall stuff and get all the Christmas decorations down from the attic, read a little bit before bed every night for pleasure, and chat with my sister several times. I did NOT finish youngest son's swim scrapbook, work at my freelance accounting job, organize our bedroom, get my warm winter clothes out, or clean any closets. There are certain things that are hard to do when you only have an hour or two. I'm bad about using those 15 minutes here and there for some things. I'm good about keeping up with laundry and picking up the main living areas, but have to have a big block of time to even start with closets and things like that.
A long week of work ahead, plus the new schedule with hubby working again. And now more is on my shoulders in the transportation department. L will take son to swim practice at 5:30 am and then head off to work soon thereafter. I will get up and take younger daughter with me to pick him up by 7:30 am with some type of breakfast in hand. I had both kids pack their lunches tonight. So I will need to be ready for work at 7:10 am. After picking him up and then depositing both kids at school I will head to work, hopefully arriving about 8:20 or so. Older daughter will be responsible to pick them up and get her brother to afternoon swim practice before L and I get home from work.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!
Well, today we decided to get the Christmas stuff out. Oh my goodness, does that stuff multiply in the garage attic over the summer or what? We have been too lazy since the big boys started working so much to put up the outside lights. Seems like by the time we got them all put up, and the inside stuff all done, it was like two weeks to enjoy them before taking them all down again. So since Thanksgiving was late this year we are definitely forgoing that ordeal. Nobody wants to do it anyway.
So after picking up youngest son at 10 from swim practice he and I went to Sam's for a few items. Actually his swim practice was 7-10 am and he is NEVER one of the first ones out. He takes a very long, leisurely shower. I guess it comes from being number 5 and having to share a bathroom with 4 other siblings for his whole life... the nice hot shower at swimming must feel so nice. Well anyway, about 10:20 we headed to Sam's and I fed the starving 14 year old boy with free samples at Sam's. Actually he also had a hot dog and pretzel and gatorade, too. I was going to get laundry detergent and eggs. Well, how many people can go to Sam's and end up with only 2 things? Not me. I got a Christmas gift for somebody, 4 packages of bagels that will be gone within a couiple of days, a clearance package of chicken breasts, syrup, vanilla ice cream, and detergent and eggs.
Got home around noon and had the girls and L bring in stuff. Oh, and I had a small cooler of ice. That is one of my weird frugal things I do. There are like two big ice machines at the pool that rarely are used, so I asked one time if anybody cared if I brought home ice. Nobody minded. So now I will occasionally fill my little cooler full of ice. I love that type of ice. I got some Wednesday after swimming and I put it in a big cooler and it lasted through Thanksgiving and the next day! So now we have ice to last another day. We have an ice maker on our refrigerator but it doesn't seem to make it fast enough when everybody is home.
Then L and I decided to get the Christmas stuff down out of the garage attic. L said he wanted it ALL down at once, not a little bit at a time. So I crawled up there and handed the ones we needed to youngest son, he took it over to hubby on the stairs, and he handed it over to younger daughter. Then everyone brought the boxes into the living room. So now we are surrounded by boxes while L puts the tree together and finds working lights. I started washing a few of the Christmas dishes and towels, but it will be a project that will last longer than one day.
We have two fake trees. We are so organized that we bought a new tree, forgetting that we bought one on clearance the year before that is EXACTLY the same. One year we just threw the old artificial tree away as it was so ugly and pathetic. The reason we are into the artifical kind is that oldest daughter is allergic to the real thing. Twice when we had a real one she had big swollen eyes. Poor thing. Twice because we didn't know that was it the first time, not because we are mean. Ha ha.
Well, I had all these plans of things I was going to accomplish with 4 days off. Of course when you consider having a houseful of people one of those days, church and friends over another one of those days, and trying to deal with getting fall stuff put away and Christmas stuff out another of the days, it doesn't leave much time to accomplish too much. Especially when you are taking kids to swim practice, work, doing shopping and laundry. Oh well. There is enough time to do what God wants me to do! That is what is the most important.
We are having some friends over for lunch after church tomorrow so I'd better get a few things ready now. We're having two types of soup...chicken noodle and bean. Yummy!
So after picking up youngest son at 10 from swim practice he and I went to Sam's for a few items. Actually his swim practice was 7-10 am and he is NEVER one of the first ones out. He takes a very long, leisurely shower. I guess it comes from being number 5 and having to share a bathroom with 4 other siblings for his whole life... the nice hot shower at swimming must feel so nice. Well anyway, about 10:20 we headed to Sam's and I fed the starving 14 year old boy with free samples at Sam's. Actually he also had a hot dog and pretzel and gatorade, too. I was going to get laundry detergent and eggs. Well, how many people can go to Sam's and end up with only 2 things? Not me. I got a Christmas gift for somebody, 4 packages of bagels that will be gone within a couiple of days, a clearance package of chicken breasts, syrup, vanilla ice cream, and detergent and eggs.
Got home around noon and had the girls and L bring in stuff. Oh, and I had a small cooler of ice. That is one of my weird frugal things I do. There are like two big ice machines at the pool that rarely are used, so I asked one time if anybody cared if I brought home ice. Nobody minded. So now I will occasionally fill my little cooler full of ice. I love that type of ice. I got some Wednesday after swimming and I put it in a big cooler and it lasted through Thanksgiving and the next day! So now we have ice to last another day. We have an ice maker on our refrigerator but it doesn't seem to make it fast enough when everybody is home.
Then L and I decided to get the Christmas stuff down out of the garage attic. L said he wanted it ALL down at once, not a little bit at a time. So I crawled up there and handed the ones we needed to youngest son, he took it over to hubby on the stairs, and he handed it over to younger daughter. Then everyone brought the boxes into the living room. So now we are surrounded by boxes while L puts the tree together and finds working lights. I started washing a few of the Christmas dishes and towels, but it will be a project that will last longer than one day.
We have two fake trees. We are so organized that we bought a new tree, forgetting that we bought one on clearance the year before that is EXACTLY the same. One year we just threw the old artificial tree away as it was so ugly and pathetic. The reason we are into the artifical kind is that oldest daughter is allergic to the real thing. Twice when we had a real one she had big swollen eyes. Poor thing. Twice because we didn't know that was it the first time, not because we are mean. Ha ha.
Well, I had all these plans of things I was going to accomplish with 4 days off. Of course when you consider having a houseful of people one of those days, church and friends over another one of those days, and trying to deal with getting fall stuff put away and Christmas stuff out another of the days, it doesn't leave much time to accomplish too much. Especially when you are taking kids to swim practice, work, doing shopping and laundry. Oh well. There is enough time to do what God wants me to do! That is what is the most important.
We are having some friends over for lunch after church tomorrow so I'd better get a few things ready now. We're having two types of soup...chicken noodle and bean. Yummy!
Thanksgiving
I think Thanksgiving is definitely one of my favorite holidays. Our family tradition is to invite many people over for a big late lunch. We try to invite anyone that doesn't have anyplace to go. Since we've always had family that lives far away, we've gotten with friends from church. Back when my husband's mom was alive we would occasionally get with her and his brother's family that lives about an hour away. But now their two children are married with their own families, and they do stuff together.
Anyway, I love having my house all clean and decorated in fall-ness. This year, with L out of work, the lion's share of the work was on his lap (in theory) However, he ended up having interviews and two contract job offers, and all manner of details that needed to be taken care of earlier this week, so we ended up with a bunch of stuff to do on Wednesday and then Thursday morning. Fortunately three of the families that were coming were bringing plenty of the food, so all we were needing to take care of were the zillion homemade rolls, the traditional death by chocolate, mashed potatoes and gravy, and a salad. All 3 of the kids living at home helped a lot, and then number 2 son came over early to help out as well. Number one son's contribution was to pick up the Thanksgiving day paper so whomever wanted to tackle Black Friday could do so.
We weren't sure how many actually were going to come as we had a possibility of close to 40 at the beginning of the week, but one family of four declined, the Indian family that was invited made other plans, and another couple got invited by some family members at the last minute. But we did end up with a couple of singles that came up at the last minute, having a total of 29. But this was not all at once, as three only stayed for lunch and then had to leave, and three more came at about dessert time.
It is always so much fun to figure out how to squeeze in more tables and chairs into our modest sized home. The last couple of years I've been putting a table in the entryway to hold cups and putting a cooler of ice underneath. This seems to keep the flow going better, as we have the sofas and football watchers in the living room, along with a cardtable behind the sofa for a foursome to eat, the study with two cardtables put together for 6 to sit, and then of course the bar filled with the food and the dining table for 10 and kitchen table for 8. Now that the big boys have moved out, there is plenty of room in youngest son's bedroom for the boys to hang out and play video games. This year the college aged and beyond boys (there ended up being 8 aged 20-26) that didn't want to watch football went outside and sat and played guitars and banjos and what not. It was pretty neat. The weather was overcast and 60's so a far cry from the snow we had last Thanksgiving!
Some of us ladies played dominoes with one gal's aged mother after the kitchen was fairly clean. She enjoyed that after having a little nap on younger daughter's bed. People gradually left by about 8 pm so I got all motivated to start a load of the tablecloths and dishcloths. Then I decided to go ahead and take down all the fall stuff so we could get the Christmas decorations out later this weekend. I went to bed feeling pretty successful as the house was all cleaned and tidy.
I didn't pay attention to what all the plans were for Black Friday, but I knew I didn't feel like tackling that mess. With hubby starting a new job Monday, after being out of work for 3.5 months, there really wasn't any extra money to spend. The older boys had a posse of guys spend the night in their apartment and they got up and did all that, but not me. I planned to sleep in and get some stuff done around the house, as L was going to take daughter to work at her mall job at 6 am. and youngest son to swim practice at 8:30 am. Well, about 8 am I got a call from middle son saying he'd taken a couple to the airport and what time did I want to use their car. Oh, yeah, I forgot! A couple from our church offered for us to use their car while they are visiting relatives for a week. (Since my van transmission is out!) And then L reminded me that I was to pick up youngest son at 10 am and daughter at noon at the mall as he was going to do all his paperwork and drug tests at the new contract job. Yikes! So he dropped me off at the boys' apartment to pick up that car and I picked up son and the two of us stopped by Target (of course he was STARVING) and then I dropped him off at home before heading to the mall to pick up daughter. Oh dear, the mall was awful! I managed to pick her up, but it took 20 minutes to get out of that nightmare. I wanted to shout, "I didn't even get anything! Let me through!" but of course nobody cared about that...
So I really didn't get all that much done that I'd planned yesterday. I took the girls to the matinee movie Twilight as a treat. And I got nauseated. I think we sat too close to the front. I get motion sickness for some reason occasionally when I am at the movies. I've had a lot of sinus problems lately, so may be an inner ear issue, too. It was a good movie even though I had to close my eyes when the action was really intense so I wouldn't throw up.
I went to bed early last night and got a good night's sleep.
Anyway, I love having my house all clean and decorated in fall-ness. This year, with L out of work, the lion's share of the work was on his lap (in theory) However, he ended up having interviews and two contract job offers, and all manner of details that needed to be taken care of earlier this week, so we ended up with a bunch of stuff to do on Wednesday and then Thursday morning. Fortunately three of the families that were coming were bringing plenty of the food, so all we were needing to take care of were the zillion homemade rolls, the traditional death by chocolate, mashed potatoes and gravy, and a salad. All 3 of the kids living at home helped a lot, and then number 2 son came over early to help out as well. Number one son's contribution was to pick up the Thanksgiving day paper so whomever wanted to tackle Black Friday could do so.
We weren't sure how many actually were going to come as we had a possibility of close to 40 at the beginning of the week, but one family of four declined, the Indian family that was invited made other plans, and another couple got invited by some family members at the last minute. But we did end up with a couple of singles that came up at the last minute, having a total of 29. But this was not all at once, as three only stayed for lunch and then had to leave, and three more came at about dessert time.
It is always so much fun to figure out how to squeeze in more tables and chairs into our modest sized home. The last couple of years I've been putting a table in the entryway to hold cups and putting a cooler of ice underneath. This seems to keep the flow going better, as we have the sofas and football watchers in the living room, along with a cardtable behind the sofa for a foursome to eat, the study with two cardtables put together for 6 to sit, and then of course the bar filled with the food and the dining table for 10 and kitchen table for 8. Now that the big boys have moved out, there is plenty of room in youngest son's bedroom for the boys to hang out and play video games. This year the college aged and beyond boys (there ended up being 8 aged 20-26) that didn't want to watch football went outside and sat and played guitars and banjos and what not. It was pretty neat. The weather was overcast and 60's so a far cry from the snow we had last Thanksgiving!
Some of us ladies played dominoes with one gal's aged mother after the kitchen was fairly clean. She enjoyed that after having a little nap on younger daughter's bed. People gradually left by about 8 pm so I got all motivated to start a load of the tablecloths and dishcloths. Then I decided to go ahead and take down all the fall stuff so we could get the Christmas decorations out later this weekend. I went to bed feeling pretty successful as the house was all cleaned and tidy.
I didn't pay attention to what all the plans were for Black Friday, but I knew I didn't feel like tackling that mess. With hubby starting a new job Monday, after being out of work for 3.5 months, there really wasn't any extra money to spend. The older boys had a posse of guys spend the night in their apartment and they got up and did all that, but not me. I planned to sleep in and get some stuff done around the house, as L was going to take daughter to work at her mall job at 6 am. and youngest son to swim practice at 8:30 am. Well, about 8 am I got a call from middle son saying he'd taken a couple to the airport and what time did I want to use their car. Oh, yeah, I forgot! A couple from our church offered for us to use their car while they are visiting relatives for a week. (Since my van transmission is out!) And then L reminded me that I was to pick up youngest son at 10 am and daughter at noon at the mall as he was going to do all his paperwork and drug tests at the new contract job. Yikes! So he dropped me off at the boys' apartment to pick up that car and I picked up son and the two of us stopped by Target (of course he was STARVING) and then I dropped him off at home before heading to the mall to pick up daughter. Oh dear, the mall was awful! I managed to pick her up, but it took 20 minutes to get out of that nightmare. I wanted to shout, "I didn't even get anything! Let me through!" but of course nobody cared about that...
So I really didn't get all that much done that I'd planned yesterday. I took the girls to the matinee movie Twilight as a treat. And I got nauseated. I think we sat too close to the front. I get motion sickness for some reason occasionally when I am at the movies. I've had a lot of sinus problems lately, so may be an inner ear issue, too. It was a good movie even though I had to close my eyes when the action was really intense so I wouldn't throw up.
I went to bed early last night and got a good night's sleep.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Day of Surprises
I wasn't in the mood to write last weekend as it was ONE OF THOSE TIMES. With working fulltime I usually plan to save time to be at home either Sunday afternoon or Saturday. There was a wedding shower Friday night, a wedding Saturday, church stuff from 8-1 and 2-8:30 on Sunday. So I decided to forgo the wedding as I was hosting Thanksgiving with upwards of 30 people and a house that really needed some cleaning and a ton of laundry to be done.
Well, I did get to sleep in on Saturday, and spent most of the morning very productive, but the day went downhill after that. For some reason I was really dealing with some mild depression. I am not really prone to depression unless there is a good reason. Well, with hubby out of work since August, and the van that I drive needing a new transmission.... I guess it sort of got to me. Anyway, I made blueberry pancakes for everybody and did a couple of loads of laundry, and started doing some picking up. I got interrupted and all of a sudden the washer would not work. It flashed some code saying that the electric system wasn't communicating or some such nonsense. This happened after I'd cleaned out the little place where you put detergent. So after hubby and I both tried figuring out what the problem was, went on the internet and looked up the code, etc. we gave up. Fortunately I'd done my own laundry first, so I was safe for another week!
Anyway, then there was a conflict with both daughters about not responding when I texted them. They both went to the wedding, representing our family with their older brother, and I wanted to know about what time to expect them home. Well, older daughter got all bent out of shape that we were annoyed that neither one responded, when both girls are constantly on their cell phones texting when we are trying to talk to them half the time. So when L took her to work she wouldn't talk to him. She is so annoying in this manner of not communicating when she is upset. Drives both L and I nuts. Anyway, then while he was gone, younger daughter and I had a bit of a conflict as well. Thank goodness she eventually would talk to me. We spent an hour or so crying together and talking it over. I can hardly remember what it was even about, but for some reason I was just exhausted emotionally. So then I ended up crying and venting with my sweet husband about everything that was not right in my life. He is so patient and kind and has learned (over nearly 25 years!) to just let me talk and vent and whatnot and eventually it will all work out. Fortunately the way God has put me together, I get over things pretty quickly. And after dealing with older daughter, my husband told me that he was SO glad that I was a vent-er instead of a close up-er. Well, by the end of that long day all was well, but the washer was still not working, and I still hadn't gotten any of the house cleaned for Thanksgiving....
Well, fast forward to today. Had a great time last night...my boss offered for me to use his car after work and then just bring it back in time for work, so I took him up on it last night as I had to pick up a prescription and decided to see if the girls wanted to go to the mall. Younger daughter had to get a birthday present, so we all 3 had a fun time joking and laughing. She ended up getting a present, and I ended up buying her a pair of jeans that she sorely needed for 50% off, and older daughter a couple of shirts to wear to work. I complain about how emotionally exhausting my teenage daughters are, but then they can be so much fun, too. I can't imagine having that much fun shopping with my boys....
So today I worked through lunch and had older daughter pick me up after her last college class about 2:45. Came home and did some cleaning and getting Thanksgiving-ready. Husband got two job contract offers and took the better one today, so our life will change dramatically on Monday. I've been spoiled with him home since mid-August, even if we have totally run out of money. He's been doing the transportation for the younger 2 as well as the cooking and random errands. I will now have to get back into the groove on that. Yuck. And now with the van out of commission, not sure what to do with only 2 cars, two pathetic cars at that...
Another miracle, though! I went into the laundry room and gave the washer a dirty look. Then I said a prayer and decided to try to do a load of laundry and IT WORKED!!! Maybe it needed a rest. Our washer sure gets a workout. My 2nd son does his laundry now at his apartment complex as it is more convenient for him, but with 6 of us, plus a kid that swims twice a day with loads of towels, it gets used a lot.
Then my boss came in last night and told me to get an estimate on getting my van fixed. He said he has a plan. I said, OK, but probably won't be until at least Friday due to the holidays. Then today he came in my office and repeated it. So I agreed.
I've stopped trying to figure out life. It is a one day at a time type of deal for me anymore. I never know what to expect. Sometimes I feel so unworthy as I am so imperfect. I've been really working on resting in Jesus and not my own strength, yet being a diligent worker.
Well, I did get to sleep in on Saturday, and spent most of the morning very productive, but the day went downhill after that. For some reason I was really dealing with some mild depression. I am not really prone to depression unless there is a good reason. Well, with hubby out of work since August, and the van that I drive needing a new transmission.... I guess it sort of got to me. Anyway, I made blueberry pancakes for everybody and did a couple of loads of laundry, and started doing some picking up. I got interrupted and all of a sudden the washer would not work. It flashed some code saying that the electric system wasn't communicating or some such nonsense. This happened after I'd cleaned out the little place where you put detergent. So after hubby and I both tried figuring out what the problem was, went on the internet and looked up the code, etc. we gave up. Fortunately I'd done my own laundry first, so I was safe for another week!
Anyway, then there was a conflict with both daughters about not responding when I texted them. They both went to the wedding, representing our family with their older brother, and I wanted to know about what time to expect them home. Well, older daughter got all bent out of shape that we were annoyed that neither one responded, when both girls are constantly on their cell phones texting when we are trying to talk to them half the time. So when L took her to work she wouldn't talk to him. She is so annoying in this manner of not communicating when she is upset. Drives both L and I nuts. Anyway, then while he was gone, younger daughter and I had a bit of a conflict as well. Thank goodness she eventually would talk to me. We spent an hour or so crying together and talking it over. I can hardly remember what it was even about, but for some reason I was just exhausted emotionally. So then I ended up crying and venting with my sweet husband about everything that was not right in my life. He is so patient and kind and has learned (over nearly 25 years!) to just let me talk and vent and whatnot and eventually it will all work out. Fortunately the way God has put me together, I get over things pretty quickly. And after dealing with older daughter, my husband told me that he was SO glad that I was a vent-er instead of a close up-er. Well, by the end of that long day all was well, but the washer was still not working, and I still hadn't gotten any of the house cleaned for Thanksgiving....
Well, fast forward to today. Had a great time last night...my boss offered for me to use his car after work and then just bring it back in time for work, so I took him up on it last night as I had to pick up a prescription and decided to see if the girls wanted to go to the mall. Younger daughter had to get a birthday present, so we all 3 had a fun time joking and laughing. She ended up getting a present, and I ended up buying her a pair of jeans that she sorely needed for 50% off, and older daughter a couple of shirts to wear to work. I complain about how emotionally exhausting my teenage daughters are, but then they can be so much fun, too. I can't imagine having that much fun shopping with my boys....
So today I worked through lunch and had older daughter pick me up after her last college class about 2:45. Came home and did some cleaning and getting Thanksgiving-ready. Husband got two job contract offers and took the better one today, so our life will change dramatically on Monday. I've been spoiled with him home since mid-August, even if we have totally run out of money. He's been doing the transportation for the younger 2 as well as the cooking and random errands. I will now have to get back into the groove on that. Yuck. And now with the van out of commission, not sure what to do with only 2 cars, two pathetic cars at that...
Another miracle, though! I went into the laundry room and gave the washer a dirty look. Then I said a prayer and decided to try to do a load of laundry and IT WORKED!!! Maybe it needed a rest. Our washer sure gets a workout. My 2nd son does his laundry now at his apartment complex as it is more convenient for him, but with 6 of us, plus a kid that swims twice a day with loads of towels, it gets used a lot.
Then my boss came in last night and told me to get an estimate on getting my van fixed. He said he has a plan. I said, OK, but probably won't be until at least Friday due to the holidays. Then today he came in my office and repeated it. So I agreed.
I've stopped trying to figure out life. It is a one day at a time type of deal for me anymore. I never know what to expect. Sometimes I feel so unworthy as I am so imperfect. I've been really working on resting in Jesus and not my own strength, yet being a diligent worker.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Random thoughts
I was reading a few blogs today and one just made me kind of feel bad. I am probably just sensitive about this, but I felt like I had to defend myself in my own mind. I do that a lot. Something bothers me and then I argue it back and forth in my head. Anyway, the topic is unimportant for now. I understand where she was coming from, yet it is so easy to make big stands on things that do not allow for people's circumstances. I think it is important to have convictions, yet God works in such different ways in people's lives. I was a stay at home mom, I've homeschooled, I've worked part time, I've worked full time. Yet through all this I've loved my children the same. I was more opinionated when I had small children and definitely more idealistic. God has used the difficulties in my life to give me more compassion and mercy and less unbending judgement.
When my husband was laid off in 2001 we knew God would provide. We still know that God provides. He has. Yet not in the way that we would really like. I never wanted to work fulltime with kids living at home. I did enjoy working part time. So now I'm working fulltime and have gotten used to it. And there have been huge benefits with my husband being the one at home most of the time. The kids have benefited greatly having this time with their father. He started a lawn mowing business with the older boys and one of their friends, which taught them how to work. Invaluable experience. Maybe they needed their dad more than mom during their teenage years. He's done a good job. And I am truly grateful for my accounting position. I am able to leave if I need to whenever the kids need me for anything. I can go in early when my son has swimming in the morning in the summer and I can leave early. I really can't complain. One of us needs to carry insurance for our family. Right now that is me. Next year it may be my husband. Maybe there will be a cure for diabetes soon. Maybe not. I have to live in the realities of today.
When my husband was laid off in 2001 we knew God would provide. We still know that God provides. He has. Yet not in the way that we would really like. I never wanted to work fulltime with kids living at home. I did enjoy working part time. So now I'm working fulltime and have gotten used to it. And there have been huge benefits with my husband being the one at home most of the time. The kids have benefited greatly having this time with their father. He started a lawn mowing business with the older boys and one of their friends, which taught them how to work. Invaluable experience. Maybe they needed their dad more than mom during their teenage years. He's done a good job. And I am truly grateful for my accounting position. I am able to leave if I need to whenever the kids need me for anything. I can go in early when my son has swimming in the morning in the summer and I can leave early. I really can't complain. One of us needs to carry insurance for our family. Right now that is me. Next year it may be my husband. Maybe there will be a cure for diabetes soon. Maybe not. I have to live in the realities of today.
Texting & Staying relevant
OK, I will admit it. I would rather go to Best Buy than the mall. I love gadgets. Forget nice clothes, expensive home decor and vacations -- bring on the cool technology. Was the first of my friends to get a video camera back in the mid 80's, first to have a digital camera & cell phone, and first to learn how to text. Well, ok, older daughter had to teach me how, but still.
Anyway, turns out this has been the most effective way of keeping up with my teenagers. ( I call my 22 and 21 year old sons teenagers because they are in college--even though they are living on their own. Gotta stop that, though, they are paying their own bills!) I used to call oldest son and never would get an answer. He never bothered to set up voice mail, so it was rather frustrating. He is not what you'd call a big communicator. At any rate, now that I text him, it is wonderful. He texted me this morning asking how my day was going, etc. When I text him he will usually respond within a day or so. I can text all my kids (and hubby!) how much I love them and they will get the message without having to say anything in return. I love that. I want to show them unconditional love and acceptance. I can text my out of state sister at times that are inconvenient for both of us to talk. I can gently remind different family members about appointments and things they need to know without being a nag. Well, I can't get too carried away or it does become nagging, so I need to watch that.
My middle son texted me last night while I was doing some shopping. We had a nice conversation and found out more about what his week had been like. My older sons now will just send me texts that say, "Love you, mom!" Warms my heart as much as a phone call.
I've talked to moms my age that really don't want to learn texting or have it or what not. I can understand why, as it is rather impersonal, but I really want to stay relevant in this changing world of ours. I don't want to compromise my beliefs or things like that in our post-modern world, but I can learn new things. I want to be one of those old ladies that never stops learning. NEVER. When I was a child I loved learning new things. I would read encyclopedias, for goodness sake. To this day if I am interested in a topic I will get every book I can on the subject and then google it on the internet and find out more.
Anyway, turns out this has been the most effective way of keeping up with my teenagers. ( I call my 22 and 21 year old sons teenagers because they are in college--even though they are living on their own. Gotta stop that, though, they are paying their own bills!) I used to call oldest son and never would get an answer. He never bothered to set up voice mail, so it was rather frustrating. He is not what you'd call a big communicator. At any rate, now that I text him, it is wonderful. He texted me this morning asking how my day was going, etc. When I text him he will usually respond within a day or so. I can text all my kids (and hubby!) how much I love them and they will get the message without having to say anything in return. I love that. I want to show them unconditional love and acceptance. I can text my out of state sister at times that are inconvenient for both of us to talk. I can gently remind different family members about appointments and things they need to know without being a nag. Well, I can't get too carried away or it does become nagging, so I need to watch that.
My middle son texted me last night while I was doing some shopping. We had a nice conversation and found out more about what his week had been like. My older sons now will just send me texts that say, "Love you, mom!" Warms my heart as much as a phone call.
I've talked to moms my age that really don't want to learn texting or have it or what not. I can understand why, as it is rather impersonal, but I really want to stay relevant in this changing world of ours. I don't want to compromise my beliefs or things like that in our post-modern world, but I can learn new things. I want to be one of those old ladies that never stops learning. NEVER. When I was a child I loved learning new things. I would read encyclopedias, for goodness sake. To this day if I am interested in a topic I will get every book I can on the subject and then google it on the internet and find out more.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Monday nights
I just got home from my women's group at church. I co-lead a group of moms of teenagers in our church with an old friend. Her kids are 25, 23, 20, and 16 (all boys except the 23 year old) and teaches school 2 days a week. We meet every Monday night for 1.5-2 hours and do some book/Bible study every other week, do a service project once a month, and a fun night once a month. Tonight was the service project and we were making goodies for each of the junior high/high school leaders at church. We had so many ideas of ways we could do stuff for others, that we couldn't possibly do them all, so will have to take one at a time. We are trying to include newer folks as we have so much fun.
I am an includer. I think everybody should be part of my activities or at least feel welcome to come. I don't think anybody should have to be alone, but I realize some people just don't like to belong to stuff. I can understand it as it is really hard to get out of my house after working all day. Yet it is always so much fun going. Even when my teens were little, I enjoyed getting out once a week without them. I think it is important for them to know that I have a life outside of just them. Of course I really have to suffer for it sometimes as I end up helping with homework or talking to them when I get home and end up staying up later than intended. What is it about teenagers that they come alive about 11 pm -- the time I am trying to get to bed? I want to be available no matter how late when they want to talk to me. My older sons moved out into an apartment last December with a couple of other nice college boys. I am so happy that even though my 22 year old and 21 year old sons are so very different, they still want to live together. And my other 3 are always going over to their apartment to go in their hot tub or pool or play Wii with them. I truly am blessed. We may be super poor money wise but we are rich in so many other ways. Thank you, Lord!
I am an includer. I think everybody should be part of my activities or at least feel welcome to come. I don't think anybody should have to be alone, but I realize some people just don't like to belong to stuff. I can understand it as it is really hard to get out of my house after working all day. Yet it is always so much fun going. Even when my teens were little, I enjoyed getting out once a week without them. I think it is important for them to know that I have a life outside of just them. Of course I really have to suffer for it sometimes as I end up helping with homework or talking to them when I get home and end up staying up later than intended. What is it about teenagers that they come alive about 11 pm -- the time I am trying to get to bed? I want to be available no matter how late when they want to talk to me. My older sons moved out into an apartment last December with a couple of other nice college boys. I am so happy that even though my 22 year old and 21 year old sons are so very different, they still want to live together. And my other 3 are always going over to their apartment to go in their hot tub or pool or play Wii with them. I truly am blessed. We may be super poor money wise but we are rich in so many other ways. Thank you, Lord!
Home Sick
I stayed home today from work. I felt yucky yesterday after church and I very rarely stay home from work for sickness, but not only was I kind of achy and tired, but had a headache. My 14 year old son was home, too, with pink eye. He woke up Sunday morning with a pink eye and we didn't know if it was allergies or what as he has lots of those, but we thought it was probably pink eye. Called the doctor or actually the nurse and they called in a prescription. So he wasn't sick and rather restless today. Not the most restful stay at home kind of day. College daughter went to get her license replaced as her billfold was stolen. I've been telling her for ages that she can't leave her wallet in the front seat of the car with the door unlocked, but maybe now she will pay attention. Just maybe. She told me it would NEVER happen to her. Of course it did. The young feel so indestructible. Sigh.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Job
Well, older daughter got home and told me about her first day on the job. She is working at a clothing store for the holidays with the idea that if it works out she can be one of the ones that stays on for the spring. She said it was kind of fun and she enjoys the people she works with. So that makes me happy.
OK I am a mom that has always been a no-nonsense sort. Doesn't have trouble with consistent discipline. Expects kids to do their jobs without complaining. Makes sure they are taking care of their responsibilities. Doesn't let their whining, begging, etc. to change my mind. Well, since the past year or so I have really gotten softer. More gentle I guess. I was used to the way boys are. My older two boys and I have gotten along with so well. Just a matter of fact sort of way. Not super emotional. Same with my 14 year old son. Moments of trials and frustrations, but doesn't last. Well, here I am now with two daughters that are so doggone emotional. I cringe when older daughter comes home in case she's in a bad mood or something. Now the 16 year old daughter has been up and down with her emotions. And I don't know if this is normal or not. They don't think it is normal but I don't really know. I can't tell if it they just feel more free to be emotional with me than I felt with my parents or not. I want them to be free to be themselves. I've never tried to make any of them anything different than what they are. Not that I didn't really secretly hope they'd do great things, but let's face it-- most kids are not going to do anything way out there super important. And the things I consider important are the things God values anyway. I want my kids to think about others, love God with their whole heart, treat people with respect, be secure in who they are in Jesus, that sort of thing. I really want my kids to be more helpful around the house than they are, but...
Well, I haven't felt all that well today so after church (3 services doing various things) I came home and have been rather lazy. I went a little nutty doing housework and stuff yesterday so needed some down time before another long week. I may have to take a day business trip to Houston this week.
OK I am a mom that has always been a no-nonsense sort. Doesn't have trouble with consistent discipline. Expects kids to do their jobs without complaining. Makes sure they are taking care of their responsibilities. Doesn't let their whining, begging, etc. to change my mind. Well, since the past year or so I have really gotten softer. More gentle I guess. I was used to the way boys are. My older two boys and I have gotten along with so well. Just a matter of fact sort of way. Not super emotional. Same with my 14 year old son. Moments of trials and frustrations, but doesn't last. Well, here I am now with two daughters that are so doggone emotional. I cringe when older daughter comes home in case she's in a bad mood or something. Now the 16 year old daughter has been up and down with her emotions. And I don't know if this is normal or not. They don't think it is normal but I don't really know. I can't tell if it they just feel more free to be emotional with me than I felt with my parents or not. I want them to be free to be themselves. I've never tried to make any of them anything different than what they are. Not that I didn't really secretly hope they'd do great things, but let's face it-- most kids are not going to do anything way out there super important. And the things I consider important are the things God values anyway. I want my kids to think about others, love God with their whole heart, treat people with respect, be secure in who they are in Jesus, that sort of thing. I really want my kids to be more helpful around the house than they are, but...
Well, I haven't felt all that well today so after church (3 services doing various things) I came home and have been rather lazy. I went a little nutty doing housework and stuff yesterday so needed some down time before another long week. I may have to take a day business trip to Houston this week.
My bad
Well, I guess over a month has passed since I decided to start a blog. Hmm. I got cold feet to be honest. I love to write, love to read, and love to talk and listen to people tell about life. But the thought of somebody I actually know reading my words for some reason is scary to me. I am not sure what I am afraid of, however, as I make it a point to be an open book in my relationships. I guess it is the permanency of the written word out here in cyberspace that is scary.
Oh well, enough of all that.... my oldest daughter started a new job today. She has not worked since a year ago summer at the water park. She graduated in May from high school and had a very rough summer. We encouraged her to volunteer, get a job, do something. She is struggling with a zillion things right now. Actually she's had over a year of pretty serious depression issues. She was diagnosed with Type I diabetes when she just turned 4. I was 8 months pregnant with our 5th child. My husband and I both learned how to care for her, and everything went rather smoothly for many years. I was a stay at home mom, homeschooling, and her life was contained. She was active in soccer and swimming, then just swimming and had lots of friends and was quite popular. She had trouble learning to read, and school didn't come easily to her, but I just figured she was different. She accepted her diabetes and even bragged to friends how brave she was dealing with shots all the time. We gradually gave her more and more responsibility for her diabetes care as she entered her teen years. When she was 11 her dad lost his job. I had started working a few hours a week doing accounting at our church, but after he was without a job for several months, the opportunity arose for me to work another part time job. Dad was the fulltime caretaker at this point, and gave her more responsibility for her diabetes care. Her father and I were taking turns with homeschooling as well. After 2 years of this, she and her 2 younger siblings started going to a private Christian school. Neither L nor I wanted life to be this way, I liked working a little, but not fulltime, but he couldn't seem to get a fulltime job. We were on COBRA, spending his retirement, until that ran out, then the state sponsored healthcare kicked in for the children. At that point L and I were without insurance, but didn't have any options. If we made more money, we wouldn't have any health insurance for older daughter, but we couldn't pay our bills without earning more. At this point I got a random call from a friend of a friend that needed an accountant for a new business. Full time position with benefits. Well, L and I prayed about it and it seemed like the right thing to do, even though I really never ever wanted to work fulltime with my kids still at home, but you do what you have to do. At any rate, I worked fulltime AND kept the 12 hour/week church accounting job for 10 long months. At that point L did most of the parenting and I was like the weekend "dad". When this started the oldest son was finishing up his first year of college, 2nd son was fnishing up his junior year of high school, older daughter was ending 9th grade, younger daughter 7th grade, and youngest son 4th grade. During this time, L was constantly looking for a job, doing some short term part time gigs, and we were playing tag team on cooking and cleaning, with him doing the lion's share.
OK, I started all this to talk about my older daughter and it's turned into my last 7 years' history. How did that happen? Oh, yeah, well, somehow in all that confusion of working and what not, the diabetes care wasn't as good as it should be. I thought L was dealing with it more, and L thought older daughter was taking care of it, and all along she was rather in denial and pretending that she was only partly diabetic...like only had to think about it once in awhile. The diabetes appointments were very discouraging, they sent mixed messages...she needs to take care of herself, yet somehow mom and dad are supposed to make sure she does. Well, when you have a headstrong stubborn 15, 16, and then 17 year old daughter, that is easier said than done. So anyway, last fall it all came to a head and she started dealing with serious depression and after countless appointments and what not, we got her to see a counselor, and then she was put on some anti-depressants. It took several months of various things, and she barely was able to graduate due to losing so many days of school. It was a vicious cycle as she would be depressed and not take care of her diabetes, and then because that made her sick it would make her more depressed, and her body was just all out of whack. The whole thing really was awfully hard for the whole family. Her behaviour was not good, she made some really bad choices, and sneakiness, lying, etc. was not fun. So this past summer we took her to a psychiatrist and he diagnosed her with ADHD. Well, I always knew she was easily distracted, but she's never been hyper. Shows how much I know about that stuff. So now she's on all her diabetes insulins, ADD medicine, anti-depressants, and has to have this 7 day pill box like a grandma. It's weird how it works. I mean she remembers things that she wants to, which kind of makes me mad sometimes. That is why I never really wanted to label her. Like she had a babysitting job last year and NEVER was late or anything. Always remembered it. She never was late or forgot to go to her water park lifeguard job the summer before last. Things like doctor appointments...never forgets. But checking her blood sugar that she's been doing several times a day for the past 14 years? Oops, I forgot. Doesn't that sounds suspicious to you? It does to me. The other thing that is interesting about her....she is such a charmer. She can be the most fun and interesting person one minute and then totally space people off the next. She's terrible with remembering to return things to people or get them a birthday gift or card or whatnot. She loves being around people, though. Oh, and she is so responsible about other things, too. She is the one I'd always ask to find something for me. I'd call home and ask a kid to find a can of chili out in the garage shelves. Well, I'd say it is probably on the 4th shelf. Well, if I'd ask any of the other 4 children that and it is was on the 5th shelf let's say, or if it was behind something on the 4th shelf...they could never find it. But when she would say it wasn't there, it definitely wasn't.
So anyway they recommended this book "Driven to Distraction" or something like that and after reading it I realized that it described her in so many ways. I have never believed in using excuses for bad behavior, but in her case I felt like God wanted me to be totally merciful. So all summer long we (we as in husband L and I) tag teamed the diabetes management and pill taking endeavor. I'd check her blood sugar in the mornings before work, and he'd check it at night before bedtime. At supper we'd make sure she took her many pills. We let her be a total bum all summer long and she finally signed up for the local college classes in the fall. So she's been going to class all fall and NOW SHE FINALLY HAS A JOB!!!
Oh well, enough of all that.... my oldest daughter started a new job today. She has not worked since a year ago summer at the water park. She graduated in May from high school and had a very rough summer. We encouraged her to volunteer, get a job, do something. She is struggling with a zillion things right now. Actually she's had over a year of pretty serious depression issues. She was diagnosed with Type I diabetes when she just turned 4. I was 8 months pregnant with our 5th child. My husband and I both learned how to care for her, and everything went rather smoothly for many years. I was a stay at home mom, homeschooling, and her life was contained. She was active in soccer and swimming, then just swimming and had lots of friends and was quite popular. She had trouble learning to read, and school didn't come easily to her, but I just figured she was different. She accepted her diabetes and even bragged to friends how brave she was dealing with shots all the time. We gradually gave her more and more responsibility for her diabetes care as she entered her teen years. When she was 11 her dad lost his job. I had started working a few hours a week doing accounting at our church, but after he was without a job for several months, the opportunity arose for me to work another part time job. Dad was the fulltime caretaker at this point, and gave her more responsibility for her diabetes care. Her father and I were taking turns with homeschooling as well. After 2 years of this, she and her 2 younger siblings started going to a private Christian school. Neither L nor I wanted life to be this way, I liked working a little, but not fulltime, but he couldn't seem to get a fulltime job. We were on COBRA, spending his retirement, until that ran out, then the state sponsored healthcare kicked in for the children. At that point L and I were without insurance, but didn't have any options. If we made more money, we wouldn't have any health insurance for older daughter, but we couldn't pay our bills without earning more. At this point I got a random call from a friend of a friend that needed an accountant for a new business. Full time position with benefits. Well, L and I prayed about it and it seemed like the right thing to do, even though I really never ever wanted to work fulltime with my kids still at home, but you do what you have to do. At any rate, I worked fulltime AND kept the 12 hour/week church accounting job for 10 long months. At that point L did most of the parenting and I was like the weekend "dad". When this started the oldest son was finishing up his first year of college, 2nd son was fnishing up his junior year of high school, older daughter was ending 9th grade, younger daughter 7th grade, and youngest son 4th grade. During this time, L was constantly looking for a job, doing some short term part time gigs, and we were playing tag team on cooking and cleaning, with him doing the lion's share.
OK, I started all this to talk about my older daughter and it's turned into my last 7 years' history. How did that happen? Oh, yeah, well, somehow in all that confusion of working and what not, the diabetes care wasn't as good as it should be. I thought L was dealing with it more, and L thought older daughter was taking care of it, and all along she was rather in denial and pretending that she was only partly diabetic...like only had to think about it once in awhile. The diabetes appointments were very discouraging, they sent mixed messages...she needs to take care of herself, yet somehow mom and dad are supposed to make sure she does. Well, when you have a headstrong stubborn 15, 16, and then 17 year old daughter, that is easier said than done. So anyway, last fall it all came to a head and she started dealing with serious depression and after countless appointments and what not, we got her to see a counselor, and then she was put on some anti-depressants. It took several months of various things, and she barely was able to graduate due to losing so many days of school. It was a vicious cycle as she would be depressed and not take care of her diabetes, and then because that made her sick it would make her more depressed, and her body was just all out of whack. The whole thing really was awfully hard for the whole family. Her behaviour was not good, she made some really bad choices, and sneakiness, lying, etc. was not fun. So this past summer we took her to a psychiatrist and he diagnosed her with ADHD. Well, I always knew she was easily distracted, but she's never been hyper. Shows how much I know about that stuff. So now she's on all her diabetes insulins, ADD medicine, anti-depressants, and has to have this 7 day pill box like a grandma. It's weird how it works. I mean she remembers things that she wants to, which kind of makes me mad sometimes. That is why I never really wanted to label her. Like she had a babysitting job last year and NEVER was late or anything. Always remembered it. She never was late or forgot to go to her water park lifeguard job the summer before last. Things like doctor appointments...never forgets. But checking her blood sugar that she's been doing several times a day for the past 14 years? Oops, I forgot. Doesn't that sounds suspicious to you? It does to me. The other thing that is interesting about her....she is such a charmer. She can be the most fun and interesting person one minute and then totally space people off the next. She's terrible with remembering to return things to people or get them a birthday gift or card or whatnot. She loves being around people, though. Oh, and she is so responsible about other things, too. She is the one I'd always ask to find something for me. I'd call home and ask a kid to find a can of chili out in the garage shelves. Well, I'd say it is probably on the 4th shelf. Well, if I'd ask any of the other 4 children that and it is was on the 5th shelf let's say, or if it was behind something on the 4th shelf...they could never find it. But when she would say it wasn't there, it definitely wasn't.
So anyway they recommended this book "Driven to Distraction" or something like that and after reading it I realized that it described her in so many ways. I have never believed in using excuses for bad behavior, but in her case I felt like God wanted me to be totally merciful. So all summer long we (we as in husband L and I) tag teamed the diabetes management and pill taking endeavor. I'd check her blood sugar in the mornings before work, and he'd check it at night before bedtime. At supper we'd make sure she took her many pills. We let her be a total bum all summer long and she finally signed up for the local college classes in the fall. So she's been going to class all fall and NOW SHE FINALLY HAS A JOB!!!
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Youngest son
Swimmer
